Nightmares

I went out on wednesday. I started off by going to Fontana because Filicia had arranged some kind of party there. Unfortunately the turn up wasn't very good so I left after about an hour and headed over to Superstereo where VYY was having a party. Plenty of people there, goodie! Unfortunately the party itself was bollocks.

The place itself looks very nice but it seems that VYY-students think that the dance floor is a place where you stand around talking t oeach other. If you don't do that you walk around, bumping into everybody in the process. I got a bit annoyed there at the end.

Some gay guy came onto me. I noticed that he approached me on the dance floor so I just ignored him. Then later on he grabs my arm and asks if I want a drink. I just smiled and said no thanks. He wasn't even attractive! Why do all the fruitcakes who come onto me have to be uggos? Not that it would change my reaction or anything but it is somewhat interesting...Besides, I have to have something to write in my blog.

On thursday I went to the Press Stop party at Oliver's. That was crap too! So I went home at twelve, in time to catch South Park (thanks for taping it though). I also watched some weird movie about a vampire. It was supposed to be an erotic horror film so naturally I thought it was going to be a bunch of vampires getting it on but nooo.

Weird thing; I have had what I classify as nightmares two consecutive nights. The silly thing is that they were about having a lousy time at the bar.

I noticed a guy at the gym had shaved his head today. Before, he looked like an asshole...now he just looks like a dick...literally...His head is shaped like a penis, I shit you not!

Messing with Jukka

Yesterday was tremendously fun.
I didn't meet any smashing new chick or anything like that. I just had a very good time. The last couple of weeks I've gotten to know this group of chicks who are always out partying, just like me. They are a bit ...extreme...and have a similar sense of humour as I do so I hang with them sometimes. So last night I partied with them a bit...in addition to cruising for chicks.

After closing time we sat outside on a bench, talking to some other people we had just met. It was really warm so we sat there until 4:30 or something. Then we figured it was time to go home so I said I could give 'em a lift since I had a car and all. As we were walking to the car this weird guy started walking with us, saying something in Finnish. I don't know how it started or who came up with the idea but we started pretending we were from Skåne, speaking with an accent.

We tried to get him to teach us Finnish. He tried to explain that "kukat" meant flowers but of course we started messing with him, asking what exactly it was we had been cooking (kokat) and stuff about cows and cats.

Later on as we were getting into the car he asked if he could come along but we said that we were going to the airport. He didn't really believe us and said that no planes were going to take off at that hour. But one of our gang were quick enough to say that we were going to Vanda airport so we had to leave. We did get rid of him eventually.

Then we had the brilliant idea of going to ABC for morning coffee. I had this sandwich with bacon and egg. Very good. We sat there and chatted for another hour or so and then headed home.

Really cool evening.

Davis Hasselhoff

"Hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing..."
That can't be the only thing he was high on when making this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKu_QA8Bn9o&NR

Oh the ironi(ng)

It's a pun!

I was reading this thing in the local newspaper today about how the army discriminates against women and other minorities (yes, women ARE a minority when it somes to the army). There was this chick who had been there and said that you got used to being called names etc. The bottom line was that they were looking for more tollerance. I found that to be quite ironic.

The main purpose of an institution such as the army, is to destroy the enemies of the nation, to kill. It is there to teach people not to freak out when bullets start flying so they will still be able to blow the head off the guy coming towards them. Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT a place for raising boys to be men and it is not a place where tollerance and compassion is promoted. In fact, one could easily argue that such qualities would be detrimental to the unit. Also, it fits the bill perfectly.

The Finnish army's hierarchy system is based on a Presussian model, which harks back to the beginning of the 20th century. Finnish young men were smuggled accross the border into Germany to get military training. These young men later returned to Finland and became officers in the "white army", which defeated the socialists in the civil war.

Army life and training is not normal. You are trained to do all sorts of crazy things, to kill and keep going. It is not what you would call a normal environment. To detract from the craziness, the Preussian model aims to pit one group against the other so the focus will be shifted. In the Swedish brigade in Finland this is particularly apparent in the "Pamin and Gumin" (those from Ostrobothnia vs those from the south). So in conclusion, the Finnish army has a history of doing this kind of thing.

Furthermore, for the army to be able to function it needs to instill an "us against them"-mentality. Basically, it replaces one unit (the family) with another (the squad, platoon, corps, whatever). Why do you think the young recruits aren't allowed to go home for the first two weeks? If you take away their family and "safety net" from home they are forced to find a new one. The military unit becomes, by default, their new family. A lot of people talk about the strong bonds formed in the army. This is not a coincidence. It is so by design. Why do you suppose you are called in at the age of 18? The main reason is because you are still "shapable", easier to control and not as quick to question.

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I was ironing a batch of laundry a few moments ago and noticed how much better the iron at home is compared to the one I have. Still, the one I have is great for the price (thanks sis').

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Going out again tonight. Hope it'll be a blast. I'll most likely fly solo as macko is at his grandmother's funeral, martin is in london and the others...well...they won't go anywhere without their chicks.

Even the cops don't believ me

There is an episode of South Park where Cartman gets tricked into buying pubic hair from a kid named Scott Tennerman. When he tries to get his money back he gets tricked again..and again. This enfuriates him so that he comes up with a scheme that ends with Scott actually eating his own parents, who are chopped up and made into chili. As Scott weeps over his dead parents, Cartman licks the tears from Scott’s face and says they taste so sweet. That’s a bit how I felt wednesday evening.

I was at Fontana again, doing my thing, when I see that blond bitch again. I notice that she was looking my way. I ignore her. Through the night I see her looking in my direction. She says something to her friend. I continue ignoring her, thinking: ”yeah, taste your own medicine”. They even came and danced two feet away from me on the dance floor. I turned my back on them and continued doing my thing. I wouldn’t say I am a very vendictive person. I would say, however, that when I get pissed off about something I can get extremely passive aggressive. In that sense my behaviour fit my profile to a t.

Otherwise I had a blast. I met people I know, chatted with them, danced, joked around. It was great.

At the end of the evening I was talking to this chick I know. She had come into town by car but wasn’t sure if she’d get a ticket if she ended up in a sobriety test. I had the brilliant idea of going for one from the cops usually parked outside Fontana in the wee hours of the morning. So we head over there.
I had to do the talking because she felt it was a bit embarrassing. However, the pigs said that we couldn’t get tested because the policy was that if you drink you don’t drive and I was obviously smashed so I shouldn’t drive. I should have figured...no one believes that I’m sober anyway.

F**king bitches!

Last night I went out to Fontana. I was expecting to see Susse there because she was going to a housewarming party in the evening, unless she was too tired from work. I did.

I noticed her on the dance floor and started making my way towards her and her friend. I thought I noticed her looking over my way but wasn't sure. Either way she rocketed off to the bathrooms with her friend in tow. I thought "no big deal, she didn't see me" but my gut instinct told me something was up.

Later on I saw her again so I went over and said hi. She looked startled and confused. After a good second or two she replied but her friend cut her off and told me "sorry, this is girls night so you can't steal my date". My brain translated that to "piss off" so I smiled and walked away.

I saw her a few times more during the evening and not once did she make any attempt at approaching me or even making eye contact. She and her friend were instead talking to a bunch of foreign-looking dudes the whole night. At the end I saw her dancing with one of them.

When I was waiting to get my jacket I saw her dragging the dude out the door, still without making eye contact. But seeing as women have far superior peripheral vision than men I am completely certain that she knew I saw her. I was two feet away from her when they passed me.

So what to think about a situation like that?
Either it was her boyfriend and she has been playing me or she dragged home a one night stand. Either way I found it to be very disrespectful. If she wasn't interested she shouldn't have gone out with me in the first fucking place. I found it very rude to ignore me and run off to the bathroom and I lost respect for her because she didn't have character enough to tell me what the deal was.

At the same time I started doubting her "excuse" that her mother was ill. Maybe that was some sort of made up story too.

We had made plans to go out on a third date next week. I was looking forward to moving the conversation into more serious territory, getting to find out what her morals are, and her thoughts about relationships and all that kind of stuff that really matters.

I guess I found out.
So I erased her number.

Jesus tea

On wednesday as I was walking back to the office from my lunch break I noticed a chick on a bike coming towards me. Naturally I checked her out, as I do with practically all women. As she got closer I noticed that she was quite attractive, a bit older I guess, probably around 30, so I kept looking. When she passed me she smiled at me. That got me thinking.

Me and Martin are truly living in our greatest days. Not too old to date 18 year olds, although that is becoming a bit dodgy, but still old enough so that the late-20’s-early 30s-crowd will think we are attractive. We have one foot planted in the 18-25 ditch and the other in the 26-35 ditch. We can have the best of both worlds!

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Today I came up with an excuse why I *have to* date younger chicks; because practically everyone my age are already attached. Sure, I guess there are some singles left but to find one that isn’t crazy, fat, has kids and is physically my type is pretty hard. So I have to hit on younger chicks...and as long as I can get away with it I probably will.
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Watched a show about the perfect penis yesterday. I had been unaware that they filmed me. Jokes aside, it wasn’t all that ground breaking. I knew practically everything they had to say. However, the part where they showed penis piercings was pretty cool..and the story about the sheep farmer who also made dildos.
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I came up with the perfect present for my cousin.
She lives in London, so she must drink lots of tea becasue that’s what they do. She also likes Jesus so how to combine those two? Jesus tea!
I got some tea from a weird Turkish shop and printed out a picture of Jesus and taped to the can. Perfect.

2nd date

I had planned on going out on wednesday. I ate, watched a bit of tv and had a shower. I had just put on a shirt and damned my hair for not being cooperative when I started feeling a bit funny. I went out on the balcony for some fresh air but that didn’t really help. I started feeling ill so I went back inside to lie down. At this point the room is spinning. I’d experienced this before. Sometimes when I have really bad colds I get these kind of symptoms. It’s extremely rare though. The last time I had it was way back when Royal still was this huge open space.

I figured that if I was lucky it would go over within an hour and I could still go out. However, I somehow managed to fall sleep and woke up at three. No use in going out anymore. Besides I still felt a bit crummy so I got up, turned off the lights and went to sleep.
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I am starting to understand my brothers hatered for flies. I had a handful of them in my apartment when I woke up yesterday and they kept landing on me. Amazingly I managed to catch one of them in flight but a couple more were still there, landing on me, preventing me from sleeping.

I’m thinking about hiring my brother to kill them all. I’ll give him a new keyboard as a reward or something.
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I had an apointment to get my hair cut yesterday as well. Not a day too soon either as my hair has become increasingly difficult to manage. Fia had the honours this time and did a smashing job I might say. Such a good job I’m considering moving her up to number one on my list.
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I also had a date yesterday with Susse. She suspected I had gotten the flu from her ( in which case it was worth it ). We met up at two and went walking around town, had a coffee, just talking about all kinds of stuff.
These are the kind of dates I prefer as it gives you an oportunity to get to know more about the person. The movie date must be the worst date ever since you can’t really talk. You can make out in the dark though so I guess it’s not a complete waste. Come to think of it I have never been to the movies on a date. But I digress...

This date wasn’t as good as the first one...but only by a hair.
I didn’t really feel all that well. I was still suffering from the crash I had the night before and if I had any sense I probably should have stayed in bed.

Anyway, the Finnish part is still going amazingly well I think. For some reason I find this girl easy to talk to.
I found out that she likes mediterranian food...and parrots, both of which I don’t really care for. But really, does that kind of s**t matter? In the grand scheme of things, those are non-issues really when you think about it.

One issue I DO have is that she doesn’t work out. That is a big part of my life so I’d prefer that the girl I’m with would share that. However, I guess that the real issue that harks back from (that is a good expression by the way) is my concern that those who do not work out regularly will not understand that they can change the way they look...Anyway, basically what I’m trying to get at is that they will be more fucked up than those who do work out...what with self image and all. But again, I am sure there are people who don’t work out who are perfectly happy with themselves and vice versa so that could go both ways. But of course there is the risk of ballooning up later on.

One thing I haven’t figured out yet is if she is mentally stable or not. I won’t name any names or any details but it seems that a lot of the chicks I have met in the past have had some sort of mental instability way beyond what I consider normal. In all cases I have found it to be detrimental to the relationship. However, this is the kind of thing that is difficult to find out. Certainly not something you reveal on the first few dates.

The age gap is also in the back of my mind. There are two issues there; 1. will she fit in within my group of friends and vice versa and 2. when she starts her studies at university or wherever she’ll go to lots of student parties and might want to sleep around a bit. Basically, regarding the latter, I need to determine what kind of values she holds regarding relationships and such.

In conclusion, I am still evaluating her. There are no real big red flags but not any huge go-ahead signs yet either. Too early to get married and too early to dismiss it as well.
So yeah, odds are there will be a third date.

The king has landed

The Swedish king and queen are visiting our town today. Personally, I don’t give a flying fuck about the visit. If they brought their hot daughter it would be a whole other matter but watching some old dude and his wife isn’t my idea of a fun time. Yeah, he’s been on tv or whatever but I won’t be able to talk to him or take a photo of him and me (if I could do that it would be cool) so I say: fuck it.

The old ladies at work though, have gotten their panties ina wad over the visit. One of them went to the airport with a camera this morning and now they are away again to catch a glimpse of his royal highass.
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I spent some time worrying about my blood pressure last night. If I could figure out how to lower it I wouldn’t see it as a problem but every single recommendation for things to do are already things I have been doing for years.
1. Decrease alcohol consumption. I don’t drink and haven’t for over five years.
2. Don’t smoke. I have never had a cigarette in my life.
3. Decrease weight (if overweight). My weight is normal
4. Consume a low fat diet. I already do. In fact, I once calculated that my fat intake is lower than recommended.
5. More excersise. Okay, I guess I could bump it up from 4 gym visits per week but any more than 12 excersise sessions will be a hassle
6. Avoid stress. I have the least stressful job on the planet.
7. Decrease salt intake. I haven’t put any additional salt on my food for months now.

I guess I COULD decrease fat intake and pay more attention to what amount of salt there is in the food I do eat. I guess I could excersise more as well. However, the changes that I can make seem to be marginal at best.

I am pretty eager to see what the doc has to say about this later on.
In fact, I think I’ll keep a diet-log and calculate my fat intake so I’ll have numbers on black and white.


Just thought of something…what if lack of sex is the cause for my high blood pressure. Yeah, that must be it…it causes undue stress on my system.

Or maybe it’s whacking it too much…no that can’t be it…and if it is I’d rather die than quit that.

Cancelled date and high blood pressure

Prologue.
Some people seem to think that I look like Charlie Sheen. I’ve heard it on numerous occasions from a number of different sources in various degrees of intoxication. Some were even sober.
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I made an appointment to get my hair cut the other day. When I got home I had an afternoon nap as usual and of course I had a nightmare about getting my hair cut. I dreamt that there was a new girl working there (which is based on reality ‘cause there IS this new girl there). My brother was going to cut his hair at the same time so we went there together. When we got there the new girl seemed extremely giggly. After a while I notice that she has cut ALL of the hair off my brother and is in the process of doing the same to me. Turned out she wasn’t employed there at all but was just a crazy chick who had seen me and wanted to see what “charlie Sheen” looked like without hair.

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Yesterday there was this late night music video battle on MTV entitled “Big mouths vs. big breasts”. One of the videos was Touch Me by Samantha Fox. As I was watching the video it hit me; I started wondering if Sam Fox is the reason for my affinity for blond, big breasted chicks. She also has that cute kind of face that both me and martin prefer.

Thinking back, one of the first pictures I jacked it too was that of Samantha Fox on the beach. I wonder what kind of relationship Martin has with ms Fox. If my theory is correct then he should also have been fascinated by her at around the age of 14.
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The Finnish blond chick, Susse, cancelled on me!
Her mother had to go to the hospital because of some kidney problems or whatever. I don’t know why I am a bit pissed about it since she DID offer a rain check for either Thursday or Friday (my choice). Okay so I know why I’m pissed. It’s because she cancelled twice.

The original date was Monday, when she went to visit her mother for the first time in the hospital. The date was rescheduled for today, which she cancelled because it was more serious than suspected. Because she has work on Wednesday the date is pushed back to the end of the week.

I’ll give her huge props for suggesting an alternative date though. That’s a big plus. Actually, had she failed to do so I probably wouldn’t have asked her out again. If a chick cancells it’s up to her to reschedule. If she won’t even do that then she can’t be that interested in the first place.
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So I went for my health check up today. Turns out my blood pressure is high. The reason for that remains a mystery. A year ago I thought it was because of too much salt in my diet so I drastically cut back on that but that didn’t seem to affect it any way or the other. Then I thought it was because I lift weights a lot but after doing some research I found out that lifting weights only causes a momentary spike in blood pressure but in the long run it is quite beneficiary.

I don’t eat junk food, work out at least 4 times a week, don’t drink, don’t smoke, body fat % is low etc. I don’t see how I can live any healthier. Well, maybe if I went to bed earlier and quit sleeping around but that probably doesn’t affect blood pressure anyway.
They recommended that I get my blood cholesterol checked but I’d be extremely surprised if that level was any higher than normal.

However, they did say that some people have a higher than normal blood pressure and since I excersise as often as I do without feeling any discomfort it might be nothing.
Fuck it. So what if it knocks off a year or two at the end of my life. The last couple of years are crappy anyway.

Craw fish-party

We had a craw fish –party this weekend. It was me, martin, jens and his girlfriend, her sister and a friend of hers, marcus and his gf and ove. Ove’s chick had surprisingly *rolls eyes* double scheduled a “girls’ night” so she couldn’t come. If it would have been shorter notice I would find it easier to believe but this thing has been in the works for well over a month. Personally I think she didn’t come because she doesn’t like me and martin, or rather the double punch to the tits that we form when we get together.

The party was at jens’ gf’s summer cottage, which was in a fabulous location. I almost started to get the whole thing with having a summer cottage (to this point I haven’t really understood what the point was to go to another house out in the woods somewhere and basically live like a savage for a few days). The weather was awesome, albeit a bit cold when the sun set.

We held the thing in a sitz-format, which was very cool since I have myself thought for a long time that we should have one of those things. We even had punishments if anyone left the table without permission. I think the highlight of the punishments was when Martin held an amotional speech about the importance of education (you *really* had to be there). Ove’s toast to his car wasn’t as good though.

The food was okay I guess. I’m no fan of crawfish. I hadn’t had them before but was willing to try a couple. They didn’t taste that good. The taste was a bit like tuna but not as strong. It was aslo a hassle to get the meat out of the god damned things. It was a bit fun ripping the head off and crushing the shell but when it comes to food I like to have it readily carved to I can chomp it up fairly quickly. So basically I deemed craw fish useless as food but fun for entertainment.

We also sang songs and had schnapps. For some reason martin started feeling very ill towards the end of the evening. This was very strange indeed since he didn’t have that much to drink. Actually he drank less than a week ago. Marcus has had this theory that there is something in craw fish that doesn’t agree with you. Until Saturday I pretty much thought it was bullshit and he started puking because he had drank too much but after observing martin I started to believe that there might be something to the theory anyway. Humans are not meant to eat those sea-beatles.

Later on we played “I have never” where many shocking and revealing facts were disclosed. One of the group had had sex in one of those rubber dinghies and none of us has ever used a vibrator. After that we wen’t to sleep..except for martin and the sister who were already fast asleep.

In the morning hours I woke up and heard someone talking/whispering. It was ove and the chick in the bed next to mine. They had slept in the double bed while I occupied the single. I didn’t hear everything but what I did hear was interesting enough so I pretended to be asleep and listened in on the conversation. One particularly interesting bit was:
Ove: “ Diana had a nightmare about this party last night”
Chick: “So I guess you feel pretty shitty now huh?”
Ove: “Not really…nothing happened right?”
There was also something about “I’m *very* single” and something about “innocent flirting”.
So basically, I think SOMETHING happened but I’m not sure what. I can say this though; if I had a gf there is no way I’d sleep in the same bed as another chick even if it was completely innocent. I’d rather sleep on the floor or outside under a tree. It’s just an idea I have that if you are attached the only one you’re sleeping with is the person your with, period.
That was basically it about the party. There are pictures though.

Hunks

Late last night, after my date, I decided to go see Scandinavian Hunks at Royal Night.
I went there because I had thought about it for some time and I figured it would be fun to watch chicks going crazy over scantily clad men, which it was. It was hilarious! All the women were going completely nuts over the show while a few dudes were standing by the walls trying to look cool. Myself, I stood in the crowd laughing my ass off at the spectacle.

However, it wasn't until after the show that the really interesting shit started going down. I noticed that the vultures were gathering; five or six guys swarmed the dance floor trying to hit on the chicks there in the hopes of them being so horny that they'd go for anything.

Some chick told me that I was "as sweet as candy" and another told me that I should be in the show as well. Picking up chicks seemed like shooting fish in a barrell. However, I didn't do that because...well...didn't really feel like it.

Immediately after the show ended, half of the chicks left. By two the place was pretty empty so I decided to pack it up. I headed over to Fontana where I met a couple of people I know and partied with them until last call.

Thinking about tattooing "En Fuego" on my ass.

Friday night-date night

Well, I had a date yesterday.
I called that blond chick on thursday and we set something up for friday evening. That meant that all day (workday) on friday I was figuring out what to wear (I'm such a woman). T-shirt and jeans? No, too casual even if it was a cool t-shirt. A button shirt? Would be a better choice but a bit too simplistic and "last year". Preppy? Yes, I decided that would be the perfect choice for an evening coffee date. But I still wanted to jazz it up a bit so I decided to wear my pink sweater (which I rarely wear during the day) over a white striped shirt. Sometimes (when I wear my newly purchased brown sweater) I also wear a necklace and bracelet in brown tones (matches the shoes) but with pink I decided to go sans necklace. This all sounds pretty gay doesn't it?

I went with my darker washed jeans as it is slightly more dressed up. Then the shoes. There was really only one choice here-my brown "semi-dress" shoes. My suede ones would have worked okay since they are a lighter color but that wasn't what I wanted.
So on to the date.

We went for a coffee to O'Malleys. I came there a minute before the time we had agreed on. She was there already, which I appreciate a lot since I think it shows enthusiasm and respect towards the person you're meeting. I also noticed that she had paid attention to make up and clothes and stuff. *Confession time* This is not the first date I've been on since becoming single. I have actually been on 12 + dates. But this one is the only one I felt was worth mentioning.

Anyway, on a few of the dates I've been on it was apparent that the chick had paid extremely little attention to how they looked, what we were doing (even though SHE had been the one who asked me out). So when I notice that someone has actually given some thought to the date I appreciate it.

The thing about this girl is that she is Finnish so basically I spent three hours speaking Finnish. I have been on some dates with Finnish chicks before and some of them were kind of hard but yesterday I felt really comfortable and the conversation flowed smoothly.

One thing about dating Finnish chicks is that I feel that I sometimes can't express my suprimely ridiculous side. So I was a bit shocked when I noticed that I could do that a lot better yesterday. I have no idea why.

Well...yeah...all in all I'd say it was a very good date. We talked about a bunch of various subjects and it seemed like we "clicked". To borrow a phrase from Zoolander; "there was some crazy energy flying back and forth". And I did give her a good night kiss AND there is a second date set up for next week.

The only problem is...she is 18.

Again with the blondes

And the streak goes on.
I was out to the club on wednesday. I got there very early since I anticipated there would be a line to tomorrow. That meant I missed Rome (this new tv-show I quite like) but I had my brother tape it so no big loss (thanks again bro).

When I got there at ten there was no line at all so I figured I’d hang around the market square and watch the fresh students make asses of themselves. However that didn’t last long as they headed over to Oliver’s so I decided to wander the streets a bit and do some window shopping. However, as I was walking past two dudes I overheard their conversation and it seemed like there were very few tickets left so I figured I’d better get my ass over there.

In the beginning I just hung at the bar, taking it easy and sipping my cola. Then I noticed this dude. He seemed a bit out of place, older than the rest of the gang but he was wearing youthful clothes. I first noticed him when he came up to this chick at the bar and started talking to her. That was a bit of a curveball ’cause you rarely see this type of approach in bars here (mainly because the area around the bar is packed).

It wouldn’t have been a big of a deal actually but then I noticed him do the exact same approach on another chick fifteen minutes later. I thought to myself that this guy definately has something in mind since he seemed to be very systematic and confident in his approach. Okay I’ll say it; the thing that popped into my mind was ”player”. So I decided to stalk him and observe his technique. Maybe I could pick up a few things.

I watched him approach no less than five chicks. He targeted chicks that were temporarily seperated from their group, getting drinks at the bar or otherwise alone. I figured he used the three-second-rule and came in on a cold approach, striking up a conversation. The thing is, this approach was not at all successful. Even though the women smiled and talked to him for a fairly long time they all had a closed up, guarded body language. He could obvously carry a conversation but was unable to lower their shields. Maybe it was because he was so out of place, maybe because he was a foreigner (he spoke English) or maybe it was becasue he chewed gum and glanced at their breasts (which I noticed looked really sleazy). Either way, he was shot down in flames. One of the chicks actually used the age old-”excuse me I must go to the bathroom”-trick.

Personally I did quite well, again.
I met this Finnish chick who impressed the hell out of me by speaking Swedish. That is, she wasn’t bi-lingual, made lots of mistakes but STILL did it. That is the kind of effort that impresses me. So it was a lot of back and forth of me speaking Finnish and she speaking Swedish and vice-versa. At the end of the night she gave me her number and told me to call her.
In your face player!

Black dude

I look like a heroin addict today. Yesterday I went for a blood and urine test because I’m going for a health checkup next week. I wouldn’t have gone otherwise but apparently it is standard procedure to see if the year has been detrimental to my health in any way.

Anyhoo, because they jabbed a needle the size of kongo in my arm I got a bruise so now it looks like i spend my evenings shooting heroin. I have a weird habbit of looking at the needle going into me whenever I get a vaccination or blood test. My reasoning is that if someone is going to jab me with a sharp object I will be damn sure to know what they are doing. Plus, I find it a bit fascinating to watch blood actually pouring out of me or some weird shit going into my arm. I bet if I had surgery and was able to I’d want to be awake so I could see all the stuff in me. You know, sort of like when you open up things as a kid to see how it works.
I wonder if that makes me a control freak.

In the past I have had a bit of problems with urine tests though since I have found it hard to pee on command. My solution is to plan ahead. Basically I drink lots of water the entire day so by the time I get the little cup I’m ready to explode.

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As I was peeing in the little cup I notice instructions on the wall about an std-test. So I started wondering if I should go for one of those. I don’t think I have anything, I don’t have any symptoms and have always been safe but hey, you never know. I also think it would be an experience in itself. Would be kind of a downer if they found out I had HIV though.

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I noticed yesterday that I was unable to comment my brother’s blog. I figured it was because he has switched to blogger beta. I’s be hatin’ on beta!

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I saw the strangest thing today; a black dude on a bike, singing in an extremely high pitched voice. I wonder if they do that a lot in Africa.
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I became extremely annoyed today at some fat old broad in line at the ATM-machine. She didn’t know which one of the three slots to put her card into. Yes, there are only two slots but she thought the slot from which you get the receipt was also one. It took her five times longer than everyone else to get the money. Yes, I timed it.
If you have a card-learn how to use the goddamned thing!
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Word on the street is that there will be a Halloween party, hosted by Macko and Kia sometime in February. That means I will have to get a cool costume together. It would be cool if everyone actually had some sort of costume but my guess is that it won’t happen. Jens will not be up for that, Ove will be too lazy to get something done...Macko would probably do it if pushed by kia a bit.

I’d want something cool but not too dressed up..No hats because they mess up my hair and no masks ’cause I don’t want to wear one of those the entire night.

There will also be some kind of engagement party for Mickan and Robbe pretty soon. Better start looking for gifts now.
-----------------I saw a great looking white shirt in Brothers today. It said it was real egyptian cotton AND you could fit cufflinks to it. I actually need one of those. On sale for 45 bucks. Will have to consider it.

House on fire?

This morning I figured out what kind of shoes I am looking for. I decided to wear my new dark brown sweater with a diamond pattern on, combined with my black pinstriped shirt underneath for that preppy look. Anyway, as I was putting on my shoes (my beige suede ones) I started thinking that a darker brown would really go better with what I was wearing.

So I decided that I want dark brown, casual shoes I can wear pretty much every day for fall, spring and summer. In winter I will be wearing big ugly snow boots anyway...except when I go out, in which case it would be nice if the shoes were nice enough for the club, you know, in a t-shirt and jeans kind of way.

I suppose a dressier shoe would go well with the preppy look but I can’t see me wearing those often enough so I will go a notch more casual.

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As I was leaving my apartment this morning I heard a loud beeping noise. It came from one of the apartments on the first floor. It sounded very much like a fire alarm so I waited for 4 minutes (a minute longer than it takes for a room to be completely engulfed in flames) before leaving my own apartment. I figured that if a room is on fire I would smell smoke and/or feel the heat if I put my hand on the door (a room on fire generates a temperature of 800+ degrees celsius). But I didn’t smell any smoke and the door was as cool as ever. So I went to work and let other people handle the alarm thing.

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En Fuego baby!

Åland and Vasa for me was/is night and day. It seems that summer and autumn is also a night and day thing. As soon as autumn rolled around and the schools started again I have been on fuckin' fire baby (oh and by the way, that is what "en fuego" means...it's Spanish for "on fire").

Wednesday was awesome (AND I got away richer than when I left the apartment). Last night was awesomeER! Yes, I know that is not a real word..Actually it was MORE awesomer! That is how good it was; so that I have to make up new words to describe it.

I talked to a total of...*counting* six chicks AND I met a 29 year old hot chick. On top of that I had another couple of chicks that were eyeing me but I actually didn't have time to talk to them because I was so busy with other people. I did recognise one of them from the VAMOK party last wednesday so I assume she'll be out again this wednesday. I'll put it on my list of things to do to go chat with her a bit.

Of course C was out too and according to reliable sources she was pissed that I hit on that 29 year old. Apparently she wasn't hot enough. *rolls eyes* Even if a chick looked like freakin' Jessica Alba I bet my left nut that she'd say: "you can do better". Anyway, I'm pretty much passed letting her bitchin' bother me anymore. She'll hate anyone I hit on anyway.

Jens' gf's friend who I've met a couple of times before was also out. I had planned on hitting on her lightly a bit but again, I was too busy!

Martin got pretty tired so he went home before me. Jens was fairly wasted and left early too..But he left way AFTER he had gotten a message from the government saying that he should come home.

Later during the wee hours I met Macko outside Hesburger. He had been at Oliver's Inn the entire night, dancing on stage and shit.

Just a few days to the next party now!

Oh and to answer your question, Martin; a gentleman never tells ;)

Mighty Dong

**Warning**
The following blog contains pretty graphic language about my dong. Feel free to skip it if you want.

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So I decided to take the punge and shave my balls...just to see what it's like. I decided that a manual razor would probably be my best bet. I also assumed that shaving in the shower would be the best choice as well. Here are some of m observations.

It's pretty difficult to do.
When you ahave your face your skin is fairly tight but your ballsack is this weird little bag of skin that is all wrinkled up. What you have to do is try to get the thing stretched out . Otherwise you risk cutting yourself and that could get pretty ugly. Holding your balls like a "brain" is a pretty good way (guys will know what I'm talking about). However, when you do that your shaving cream goes all over the place and you can't see where you have shaved. You just have to estimate that I suppose.

A good thing is that the hairs on the sack aren't as coarse as the surrounding hair or your facial hair (at least mine aren't). That means that there is less risk of getting ingrown hairs.

After shaving I used a non alcoholic shaving balm (Nivea, for sensitive skin) and then moisturiser. Otherwise I suppose it could get a bit dry and shit.

So what are my thoughts so far. Well, it doesn't really itch much (if at all) which was a surprise. I don't think it feels any different actually. I also cleaned up a bit around the root of the schlong so I suppose it looks a bit bigger though. On that note...

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I was looking at my schlong the other day and thought to myself: "man you have a massive unit". It looked quite impressive. I figured that those...couple of chicks I've banged must be really lucky to get rammed by a bratwurst this size. I could be in porno movies!
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I was out on wednesday.
There were student parties all over the place. I hadn't really decided which one to attend until I saw the line outside Fontana. I decided that Fontana would be a good choice. Plenty of chicks out. Not a lot of people I know though. Well, a couple but not a lot.

There was a different atmosphere than on regular saturdays. Hard to explain..I suppose it wasn't so much of a "meat market" I guess.

At around one thirty I noticed that the crowd was decimated so I decided to head over to Gigglin MArlin and check out Vamoks party. That place was still very much kickin'. Again, lots of chicks.

I came to the conclusion that it is very hard to talk to Finnish chicks that have winy voices. If I hear what a finnish person says I can usually spit out some kind of reply but for some reason it is extremely hard to hear high pitched voices in clubs.

I also found 15 bucks on the floor (first a 5 euro bill and a half an hour later a 10 euro bill) so I came away with more money than I had when I got there. SCORE!

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Thursday and friday have been spent sleeping. I had the days off so I slept for like 12 hours. I was very calm and relaxed on thursday.

And tomorrow there is another party day. WOHOOO!