Fat b***hes

I started wondering the other day if people have gotten fatter.
I used to be a regular at a club here in town until the place “died” in the competition. They renovated the place and it seems to have started attracting people again so I went there last weekend. I noticed how many overweight people there were in the place. Honestly I don’t think there were so many a few years ago. It is indeed a sad trend. I can’t understand why some people so fiercely claim that we live in a society obsessed with appearance while at the same time you can listen to the news and hear that 50% of the population is overweight. Seems to me like it would be the other way around; that we live in a society obsessed with being unhealthy tubs of lard.

From one thing to the other…
I have noticed something interesting about myself. When I am in a relationship I tend to stay pretty much the same. If I were a fish it would be the equivalent of me resting on the ocean floor. However, when I am single I enter into long periods of self-exploration and experimentation. When I go out I am almost freakishly social. I write songs and contemplate philosophy. I buy new clothes and grooming products…it’s almost like I am renovating myself…slapping on a new coat of paint so that I’ll find another potential buyer…On the other hand I also take naps in the middle of the day, walk around in my underwear, cook food naked (I do that because I often cook food after I have showered when I have been working out), watch a lot of tv and of course play with my one eyed snake. So I guess you could say that it’s both good bits and bad bits. But I still feel that I am growing more as a person when I am single. Maybe I just haven’t met the right girl yet…which brings me to my next topic.

I saw a chick in town during my lunch break that I had seen in the club two weeks ago. She didn’t even notice me today but that weekend she was looking pretty intensely at me…okay I am not 100% sure that it was her..could have been some other girl. The one I saw in the club was something else though. Blond little number, eyes that could kill you and sweet as candy..hell, I don’t even remember if she had big boobs or not and THAT is saying a lot since everyone knows I am a hardcore boob-man. Why I didn’t talk to her if she was so special? Well, you see, I had another thing going at the time…Still, I am pretty sure I will see her again…

That is one of the things I love about this town. It’s so god awful small that you are bound to run into people again at some point or another, unless they are only visiting in which case I wouldn’t want to date them anyway. If you see someone in a club you can bet your ass that you will see them again. If not in that particular club then in another one or in the street or as a cashier at a supermarket. Hell, you might even see someone who reads your blog as you are exiting a local bookstore. If I lived in the city of New York where there are millions of people I could probably go a whole lifetime without meeting that one person again.

Musings about a toilet

Today the bathroom at work stunk real badly. The place absolutely reeked! If it had smelled like shit it would actually have been an improvement but the smell was not of this world. It was like the shit had mutated and gotten babies who later had taken a royal dump in there themselves and then that shit had scraped off the worst smelling parts and thrown that in there. I have noticed that the place smells the worst on Mondays. I have no idea why.

Last week the bathroom was awfully cold. It is usually pretty cold there but since the outside temperature had dropped to –23 degrees Celsius (-7,6 degrees Fahrenheit to those more familiar with that) and some idiot had opened the window it was freezing in there. There was absolutely no joy in sitting there and relaxing while taking a morning dump. Now that I think of it, Mondays are the days that the bathroom isn’t very cold. I wonder if there is some kind of connection here.

So some friends and I went clubbing this weekend. We didn’t go to my usual spot but to another place called Royal Night. I haven’t been there a lot lately because I don’t really like what has happened to the place after they renovated. Architecturally the place is fine but the people and the overall vibe has changed. Especially the dance floor sucks donkey balls since there are loads of guys who just stand around looking at women there. Because the patrons are older than at my regular spot they are also larger, physically meaning they are in the way a lot on the dance floor. There are also lots of guys just walking about on the dance floor. But other than that the place is okay…besides the fact that the chicks there are worse looking…and there is a higher percentage of fatties.

I saw this one chick who was eyeing me but since she was very attractive, blond, I figured she already had a boyfriend. How could I tell? Well, she was flirting with ME wasn’t she? Enough said :p …Anyway, if I see her again I think I’ll go talk to her and find out for sure. The last time I thought that was about a month ago and I haven’t seen that girl yet either so I’m not particularly optimistic.

There was also some other stuff that happened which basically resulted in me NOT porking a chick…even though I could have…for sure…stop laughing! I could have! But I’m sick of banging semi-attractive women from bars. Hey, maybe I have actually gotten some standards now! Whoddathunkit?

Let me get "deep" for a while...not about oral sex

For the longest time…okay so it was two days last week…I thought that the world was going to hell in a hand basket. I could lie and say something about the state of affairs in the world, famine, crime and all that s**t. But I won’t.

The real reason is that a number of women who have come on to me the last month or two have had boyfriends. Some of them have gone pretty far too, but not all the way. In my defence I must say that I was unaware that they were attached. It was not until later I found out.

The thought that developed in my head was: “Holy f**k, don’t people have any morals anymore?”
I lapsed into a deep, dark depression that lasted for a good 20 minutes. I was miserable. I then had an orange and felt better about things.

You see, I realised that I cannot change other people. I cannot force them to think the way I do. The only one I have any power over is me. Maybe the world is still going to hell in a hand basket but I am doing my part in keeping it from doing so.

Then again, I might have no one to blame but myself considering I frequent a club infamously known as “the meat market”.