Attire

I’ve been feeling a bit tired lately. Actually, I’ve been feeling tired ever since yesterday, probably because I don’t have sense enough to go to bed at a decent hour. I stay up until 1 or 1:30 AM, force myself up at 7 o’clock and when I get home I take a nap. It still boggles my mind that people get up to go to work this early every day for the rest of their lives. I guess they go to bed earlier than me though. I also think that a real paycheck may be a good motivator too.

I hope I will get paid next week, as I should. I really doubt it though. I have to take care of some tax-things first; paperwork etc. and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get everything done in time. If I don’t get paid I have to borrow money so I can pay the rent.

-------------
In a week there is the “traditional” Halloween party, hosted by Kia and Marcus. I got the official invitation today. It said “attire=scary”. I wonder if it’s scary enough if I come naked…or dressed in chaps…or a neon-green g-string. I was kind of thinking about going dressed as a bunny, since I found a dirt cheap bunny-mask at a store but bunnies aren’t very scary. On the other hand, that rabbit in “The quest for the holy grail” was pretty scary.

My other idea was to go dressed as a devil but if I were to do that I’d need a red, “vintage” t-shirt that says “Horny little devil”. If I had red contact lenses and fangs that would be cool too. But contact lenses, especially tinted ones, are way too expensive and I doubt I’ll be able to grow fangs.

My third idea came to me yesterday while watching tv; the indian in the Village people. In fact it would be cool if I got a few friends involved and we’d go as one each. But I doubt they’d go for that..plus, the Village People aren’t exactly scary either.
They do have some cool stuff at a toy store in town though. I’ll have to keep an eye out and see what they’ve got. The down side is that by buying stuff for an outfit you practically guarantee that you will have the same outfit as someone else.

No

Yesterday I had another test to determine whether or not I have diabetes. First they drew some blood, then I had to drink two cups of weird tasting sugar slush (it wasn't actually all that bad..tasted a bit like..black currant) then I had to wait for an hour, after which they drew more blood, then wait another hour-more blood and then it was finished. The hardest part was sitting there doing nothing for two hours but I found out that by trying to figure out what all the others were there for I managed to entertain myself.

I came up with stories about how all the young people (there weren't many) were there to get std-tests, then I tried to figure out what kind of std they had and from whom they'd got it.

Anyway, today I called for the test results and it turned out that I'm completely normal. 4.9 at the start and 6.0 after two hours, no diabetes. HA! In your face diabetes! Suck this *grabs crotch* !!

Messed up

A couple of months ago the regular club raised the age limit to 20. In the beginning I think they had a pretty liberal attitude and let quite a few 18year olds in anyway. However, I suspect that they now have changed that policy and started enforcing the age limit more...and they are paying the price for it; there are significantly less people there now.

The thing is, the key to success in the club market in vasa is...18year old chicks. Older than that and they start to be attached, have kids and stay at home doing nothing...correction: doing their boyfriends. If you get chicks to the club the guys will follow. No chicks-guys go elsewhere.
So now I don't know if I have to start going someplace else or what. I think I will give it a couple of more weeks and if things don't pick up I'll go to Marlin or something.

In other news, today is new years day, of the hindu calender. It's the year 2063 now.
Also, me and martin are planning on arranging our third porn and hot dog party soon. We only have to figure out how to watch the movies, 'cause martin doesn't have his computer in town.

Last day at work

Well, today is my last day at work. It’s over, after 395 days, well tecnically I still have five days after today but I’m free. It’s strange because I originally thought this would be a happy, glorious day but I noticed this morning that I haven’t really been looking forward to it that much. I knew it was going to come eventually but I never really thought about it, just went on with my business and all of a sudden it’s here. I even found myself not really wanting to go to the office today.

He reason I didn’t want to go is because I suspected someone would make a big deal of my last day and make me eat cake or something. I hate that kind of stuff...especially cake. Luckily, it turns out that most of the people are on vacation today so it’s very quiet here and not very much to do. So this day will be the same as any other day as far as I’m concerned.

And really, it’s not really my last day at all. Next week I’ll start work for real, with real pay. That’ll be sooo cool, to finally have some cash to throw around and not having to constantly calculate how much the groceries cost, how you’re going to have money to buy...whatever etc. On monday I’ll come in to work in the morning and sign the papers.
However, I figure I have to celebrate somehow tonight though, so I’m going out to Fontana to see the Crash play.
---------------
I had been planning on going out on wednesday but in the morning I really didn’t feel like it. I just felt like staying at home and sleeping. I figured I’d wait and see in the evening but even after I had showered I wasn’t in any kind of party mood. So I stayed at home watching Rome and the Mythbusters.
As a result of me staying at home I had one of the best back workouts in a long time yesterday.
--------------
The first snow fell this morning. Immediately you noticed there was much more of a bite to the wind. The temperature has dropped just below ”comfortable” now. Before it had been chilly sometimes but now it’s cold. Pretty soon it’ll be fuckin’ ”freeze your nuts off”-temperature. Winter, I love it so.

New tests

Well, today I was scheduled to go see a ...someone who knows about diabetes and stuff. So I go there, they draw blood, run a test and lo and behold, the number comes out 4.9 (one hour after lunch), which is extremely good. Practically no one comes in and show a value of 5 or less.

So next week I’m going back for yet another test to determine once and for all what’s going on. The nurse said that it’s practically guaranteed to come out negative (or is that positive?) judging by that 4.9. She suspected that there had been something wrong with the first test or something ’cause I do not at all fit the profile of a diabetic.

However, then we’re back to square one regarding my blood pressure. I suppose there is the possibility that I get stressed about it and therefore it’s higher. I know I tend to get a bit worked up over anything that is out of the ordinary on any given day. Oh well...

weekend

This weekend I was attending an engagement party. The party was pretty cool, even though there were no single chicks there. We had some laughs, some drinks, some ”food” (I wouldn’t call it real food since it was mostly ”finger food”), it was all cool. We also discussed John’s love life (he was there) and tried to sort out all the women in his life. We also tried to talk him into inviting one of them there but he refused. It would have been pretty funny if he’d done it though. At around 11:30 I decided it was time to head out to the club. The others stayed behind and had drinks and cigars and stuff.

It was a pretty slow night at the club actually. It took a while before people started pouring in. Still, I met a couple of friends of mine and chatted with them for a while. Actually, it took amazingly long before the place was jumping. The dance floor was even empty there at one point and that is extremely rare for a saturday. And the dj still kept on playing weird songs instead of breaking out the crowd pleasers.

Later on the rest of the gang showed up, except for Ove who half way to the club decided he would go home instead. Incidentally, his girlfriend didn’t show up to the party because she was ill. I am not saying she wasn’t but I do find it interesting how she has managed lately to get out of our ”get together’s”. It’ll be interesting to see if she is a no-show to the Halloween party as well in a few weeks.
I thought Martin would head off to Oliver’s after a while because those two chicks he met last week (was it last week?) were there but he stayed at Fontana the whole night. After closing hour, me and martin headed to ABC for a morning sandwich. And that’s all she wrote for that saturday.

dream

I had a strange dream last night. Actually, I had three. I remember getting up to take a piss around 6 and thinking ”I’m going to write about those two dreams in my blog later”, but now I can’t remember what they were about. However, I do remember the last dream I had.

It was winter and Martin’s dad was helping clear the road from snow with one of our tractors. For some reason I was sitting in the back. The strange thing was his technique. Instead of driving along the road he drove from left side to right side, with the tractor completely turned. Basically he just hit the gas, drove into one ditch, backed up and drove into the ditch behind him.

Now, I remember, I was sitting in the back because I was hiding. There was a contract out on me and there were people out to get me. However, after a while I had had enough and got out. At that moment he started driving normally again and went off. I was standing next to the place we used to pick berries when we were kids and WHAM, a blond chick in a leather suit crashed into me. It was an assassin.

There was wrestling, I kicked her in the face, she fell over and dropped her gun and I shot her in the back of the head, after which I went over to her, pulled her head up in her hair and insulted her before she died. After all, she DID try to kill me.

Then one of my old friends from school came driving along the road. He stopped and I told him what had just happened. Then he tried to stab me. Luckily managed to turn the blade and kill him before he could off me. I wonder what it means...
-------------------------
Yesterday I was watching a documentary about breasts. A woman had lost her mother to breast cancer when she was 7 and now made a documentary. At 9 she had started getting breasts herself and felt that ” the breasts of doom” that had taken her mother were now out to get her. Nearly 25 years later she was ”finally ready to face them”. That’s pretty fucked up if you ask me.

Anyway, half way through I stopped watching. There was no apparent theme running through the show, other than it was about titties. There was no clear standpoint on ANY of the subjects being dealt with. There was a long bit about how we are taught by society to think of breasts as sexy and then the whole tirade was dismissed with ”so what? That’s fine by me” (the woman herself said that). Then there was a bit about breast cancer and that whole ”pink ribbon” thing. At that point I stopped watching. The whole, show was a mess if you ask me.
----------------------------
I had the most outrageous idea this morning; what if I wouldn’t go out tonight? I could sit at home, play guitar, watch Rome and Myth Busters and go to sleep early and get a good 12-13 hours of rest. I’m off work tomorrow so I could go out on town a bit before going to the gym, maybe go to the library or something. This morning when I was really tired the sleeping seemed awfully tempting. However, I usually ”wake up” in the evenings so I’ll probably change my mind again later tonight.
------------------------
Strangest thing; I found a book about dreams in a bookstore today on my lunch break. Apparently, being attacked supposedly means that you feel uncertain about something in your life. However, attacking someone else seems to mean that you turn adversity into possibility and see it more as a challenge and a way to grow.
I also saw one of the club dj’s on the street so I said “hello” . He said “see you at Fontana, we are having a big party there tonight” and I replied “I’m there”…so basically I promised that I would show up. SinceI take my word very seriously I must go :p..besides, that chick might be there…or someone entirely new.

I'm a dia-whatnow?

I went for a repeat health checkup today, since my blood pressure was a bit high. It’s supposed to be 85/140 (or was it 145?) and mine was 87/...something. So it’s not like it’s off the charts or anything. Well anyhoo, a few weeks ago I had been for a blood test so they could check my cholesterol and stuff. All that was normal but there was one number in the reds.

Turns out I’m almost diabetic. My glucose level, after not eating for 12 hours was higher than normal, which means my body can’t process glucose as well as normal. Therefore I should stay away from simple carbohydrates (good thing I know what that is). There is a chance I might be able to lower the number by making changes in my diet too.

At first I thought that would be a problem but after thinking about it more I do eat pasta after work. I could switch that to another kind. I also eat potatoes and meat after my workouts so I could cut back on the carbs there too. Other than that I eat mainly complex carbs and protein rich foods.

I am pleased with a number of things with this result. First, it’s not my protein supplement that is the cause (if anything I should probably eat more protein). Second, my cholesterol level was normal, which means I don’t eat too much fat or anything and can continue what I’m doing. Third, if I start eating even more healthy and cut back on carbs it will probably help me lower my body fat percentage even more.

I wonder if this is the cause for my dislike for all kinds of cakes and such. For the longest time I have disliked whenever I’ve had to chow down on any kind of cake. Whenever someone retires, has a birtday, gets a kid or something you have to eat cake. I hate it. Now I have an excuse not to eat the disgusting slop, ha ha! However, I wonder if I dislike cake BECAUSE my body can’t process the sugar that well or if I dislike it because of other reasons.
Anyway, since I really don’t find it hard to eat healthy and stay away from candy and stuff I don’t think this’ll cause any major concerns for me. I seriously doubt I’ll have to start shooting up or anything.

Chick with balls

Well, of course I had to go out on saturday, seeing as it was saturday and all. But before I headed out the whole family went to watch a stand up comedy thing. It was funny but not hilarious. My mother had twisted my arm to go but I wonder if I would go again if I had to fork over a twenty for it. It would be a fun date idea though..But maybe it would be even better in a bar or something...I don’t know, that’s the image I have of stand up anyway.

So after the show I quickly headed home for a shower and some food, after which I headed over to Marre and Micke, where Martin was. After sitting down, discussing the finer points of Finnish vs. Swedish speaking chicks we went off into the night.

It was Fontana as usual.
I found loads of people I know. C was there, but after a while she left because there were too many people there or something so she had some kind of panic attack I presume. I found my ex girlfriend’s little sister and talked to her boyfriend. A chick I know from the gym (and a friend of a friend of Kia) said that she had ”seen nude pics of me on the net”. For some reason there was a lot of talk about my abs. Apparently people doubt that it is really me on those pics on that web page or that they are fake or something. Next saturday I’m going out with no shirt on.

Last wednesday when standing at the bar, waiting to order a drink, a cute blond in front of me turned around, said ”hi”, asked what I was having and (get this!) bought a coke for me!! I was completely blown away. Not once, ever, has that happened. It was like...there is no comparison. That doesn’t happen. I was so chocked by the whole scenario that before I really had the chance to talk to her, her friend dragged her off.

Well, I saw her again this saturday. I was heading in the other direction and saw her in the corner of my eye so I turned and went to talk to her. Turns out she was Finnish, cute, blond, said she didn’t speak a word of Swedish but she spoke very well, almost perfectly. I didn’t get her number because she went off somewhere once again and later when I saw her she was talking to some dude so I wasn’t going to interrupt that. Still, an impressive gal. Just think, a chick who has the stones to buy a drink for a guy. That’s way cool. I must find out what she’s all about. She did look a bit familiar though, when thinking about it. I wonder if we’ve met before.

We also met a chick from the crawfish party so we talked to her for a while. She said she had shown pics from the party to a friend who had said ”oh he’s good looking” and pointed at my picture. She also said that the same chick was there but she didn’t introduce me or anything so I have no idea who it was. Still, a bit of an ego boost. I’m looking to inflate my ego to the size of a Zeppelin. Doesn’t that just rub you the wrong way? Huh huh? Doesn’t it? (no not YOU...I meant YOU).

Martin went off to Oliver’s at the end of the night, found two chicks he had met last saturday. I hung out at Fontana. Some Turkish looking chick was eyeing me on the dance floor, didn’t do anything since I’m a bit scared of those...well...actually, their millions of brothers and uncles who will slit my throat later.
A very successful evening. The one and only drawback was that I din’t get that chick’s number. I did however, find out where she works. Turns out she works at the gas station where I usually go fill up my car. Hmm...come to think of it, maybe it’s time to fill ’er up a bit.

Pretending to be model

So I did a photo shoot yesterday. No big deal really. I think it was the studio in which the shoot took place that wanted some pics of products you can print your own picture on (mugs, t-shirts, bags etc) so they needed some ”models” to hold/wear them. I was actually scheduled to do two shoots back-to-back. The other one was for a clothing company making work-wear so I wore this thick, neon-yellow jacket and pants..and matching cap.

I really hesitate to call myself ”model” ’cause I’m really not one. I’m just a hack pretending to be one on occasion. Besides, if you don’t make enough money to support yourself doing what you do and don’t have a degree or something I don’t think you can really entitle yourself ”model” or whatever.

I came to the conclusion that there is a lot more to it than meets the eye...like with transformers.
The main thing that is challenging is smiling and looking serious on que and everything in between. Well, mostly smiling like you are a deranged mad man. Hopefully I won’t look all that retarded.

I worked with another riehaan-model named...better not say. I don’t know if she was shy or extremely professional (like ”get in get the job done get out”)but I found her to be very quiet. At first I just thought she had the personality of a turnip but at the end of the shoot she loosened up a bit so I don’t know. I have to admit though, she was ridiculously pretty. I mean ”model-pretty” absolutely drop dead, walk-into-lamp-posts-gorgeous. Shorter than I had imagined though.

Another thing I noticed was that it takes a while to get comfortable in fron of the camera. I think it was the same when we took that photo to give to our parents for christmas. It takes a while before you get used to the flashing lights and the posing and all that.

The posing bit wasn’t all that hard. I think the chick in charge of the shoot had a tougher time because she had to make sure the pictures could be used for their intended purpose. That meant making sure there was no extra glare, wrinkles that would obscure the prints and that the clothes didn’t look baggy or too tight or something.
I wouldn’t say it was hard or difficult really. I’d say it was easy cash and a welcome change of pace from the daily grind.

Work

Well, I found out yesterday that there is no job available directly after I am done here. There was talk about hiring someone for the rest of the year (i.e me) but the head cheese decided that the money was to be spent elsewhere. I suspect he's going to use it all to buy booze and throw a party.

However, I got a hint that there will be a position opening up after new years that I will be able to apply for. So that's cool. That gives me a couple of months to see if I can get my dirty rotten hands on something bigger and better before I return...if I get the job that is.

Remember that photo shoot thing I did this summer? Well, after the shoot the photographer dude asked if he should contact me if anything else comes up. I said sure why not, it's extra cash for standing around for an hour or two. I wasn't really expecting anything but just now, a couple of minutes ago I got an e-mail from the guy. He said that he had a lead on a photo shoot I might be good for...if I am interested.

So I figured yeah sure, why the fuck not, easy money. Now all I hve to do is get my shit together. This'll be fun!

Bad show

I watched two new shows yesterday. The first one as called Weeds and was actually the better of the two. I wasn’t really planning on watching it but since it was on just beforwe the other show I decided to watch it. Basically it was a show that had plenty in common with the hit series ”Desperate Housewives”; suburb, main character female, lots of strange shit going on ”behind the scenes”. For instance, the main character sells pot, which I thought was surprising (actually the surprising bit was how casually it was depicted). Anyway, it was only half an hour long so I could keep my interest up. I’ll watch that one again.

The other one was what I thought was a reality show called ”Fat Actress” with Kirstey Allen playing herself. Basically it’s about an actress who has become fat and can’t get work. It was *supposed* to be a counter reaction to the media industry’s demand for thin, hot looking women. But I didn’t see it that way.

What I saw was a fat chick (anyone who claims she wasn’t fat is blind and/or lives in the US where two thirds of the population are obese...she had an ass the size of a mack truck for christ sake!), very unhappy with herself, neurotic beyond belief, stuffed her face with food when upset and didn’t like to have the lights on when banging a black dude with an enormous schlong.

Basically, the whole show underlined exactly why I don’t like fat people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying fat people are inherantly bad, what I’m saying is that I hate this kind of attitude from fatties. The bottom line is that the main character is NOT happy with herself. She knows it, we know it. But whenever anyone suggests that she lose a bit of weight she spews venom on them and tells herself that she is beautiful.

One scene actually depicted her about to stick a feather down her throat so she’d throw up but changed her mind and had a twinkie instead. People with eating disorders are fucked up. Yeah, I said it! They are messed up. You can sugar coat all you want but the bottom line is that they have serious issues. Okay so the character may not have an eating disorder per se but she is no doubt on her way of developing one, ergo; fucked up.

Another thing I hate is the ”either or...” attitude. Either you are ”normal”, i.e fat like an elephant, or you have an eating disorder. In my opinion the show enforced such an attitude as well.

The show wasn’t even funny, a third tier sitcom I predict will be cancelled after one season..tops.
The statement the show was supposed to be was a joke. I don’t recommend it to anyone...and I am a person who actually likes those kind of shows.

Everything changes!

I took the car to work today because I had to go take some measurements for some changes to be made near a construction site. I usually park my car a block and a half away from work. So far I have never encountered the problem of never finding a spot but today the entire block was packed. ”What the fuck is this?” I thought to myself. I repeated that when I noticed that several spaces were free right outside the office. I did a little dance in my head before noticing the reason for the multiple available spaces; it is no longer free to park there, you have to pay. Yet another place where you can’t park in this town.

I bought a new tube of face wash recently and noticed that they have changed the formula. One thing that I had found very positive about this particular face wash was that it was a bit like Heinz ketchup in the sense that it didn’t really come out of the tube all that easily. It’s not like you had to struggle or anything but you had to squeeze it a bit. Now they have changed it so it’s basically like a waterfall. I guess that’s good for the company since you inadvertedly use more of the stuff but bad for me ’cause..well, the same reason.

----------------------------
In a couple of weeks I will have completed my duty to my country and will be able to move on to bigger and grander things, whatever that might be. It’s somewhat of a strange feeling ’cause now I have nothing I *have* to do. In the past I’ve always had something hanging over me. When I finished junior high (or the equivalent thereof) it was high school, then it was a college edumacation and all during college it was practical training or this thing hanging over me. Now I’m...free and all I will have to do is get a job, work for forty years, get a heart attack and retire.

It would probably be suitable to say that it is a bit scary but I actually don’t feel that way. Sure, I might not be able to find a job right away-no sweat, lots of people don’t. I may face the prospect of being unemployed for a while-no sweat, it will give me time to practice guitar five hours a day.

What I’d really like to do is build models for architectural firms and such. It’s something I am passionate about and really good at (or so I hear). It’s something I could do for free even...as long as I could make ends meet that is. That kind of work wouldn’t be work per se for me. If I could find a job like that locally I’d be jumping with joy. Right now, however, those kind of jobs just don’t exist around here so I plan on working a couple of years with something else and later move on to what I really want to do. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something even better in the process.
And if that doesn’t work out I can always go live with Martin and work with...umm...in the ”animal shelter” business.

Weekend

Well, as planned I went out to the club again yesternight. It was me and martin actually. The other guys had some kind of soccer...thing. Anyway, I met that group of crazy girls (three of them) at the club again. Partied with them a bit. Martin left after a while and went off to Oliver's to see what the other guys were up to. I stayed at Fontana. Later around five I get a call from martin asking where I am. He had then been at an after party with marcus and the gang and wondered if I was still in town. But by that time I was cooking some eggs and about to go to sleep.

Nothing really super interesting happened. The most interesting bit I guess was when I passed that blond bitch and said hello (that's all I say to her these days) and she says to one of her friends: "that was him"...That got me thinking a bit what she has told her friends about me. 'Cause you can be damned sure she has said something...she's a chick.

Otherwise, nothing out of the ordinary. Plenty of hot chicks out but no one *really* special...Then again, how the hell do I know, I taled to very few of them. Let's just say no one really caught my attention in that way.

I must say right now I am enjoying single life tremendously. My weekends are great fun and the weekdays are pretty okay too, with working out, playing guitar and listening to records. So basically it doesn't bother me at all that I don't have a girlfriend. Maybe later when I turn 27 ...