Parties o'hoy

Oh joy, the planned ”excersise afternoon” from work has been cancelled due to the unstable weather we are having. That means I don’t have to find a bike, ride the bike to work and get the car to go to a meeting I’m attending tomorrow.

It’s interesting however that it will be cancelled due to weather. It’s so typical these days isn’t it? Oh buhuu, a little rain and cold, we can’t excersise, let’s sit at home and watch tv instead...oh buhuu, I’m so fat and smelly, why can’t I be skinny, buhuu.

Anyway, word on the street is that Fontana will be doing some renovation work this summer. It will be interesting to see if the pendulum swings back in their favour after that. I’m not sure exactly what they are going to do though. I overheard the manager talking to some people about it last saturday though so I’m sure it’s going down eventually.

Speaking of Fontana, the upcoming weekend is graduation day for schools, which means there will be loads of young hot chicks out. I hear that Fontana has traditionally allowed graduates free entry. That means the graduates will most likely flock there. However, it will also probably mean a higher entrance fee for the rest of us poor losers.

I will have to consult with the main man Martin about where we should go. I take it he’s joining this weekend.

In other news, there will probably be a lot of parties these upcoming weeks as my sister is hosting a moving in party, martin will probably have his party and Ove and Marcus *should* be planning their respective parties as well. I love parties...maybe even more than I love underage jail bait.

Solo weekend

Well, I went out solo last night. Macko sent a message saying that he was at O'Malleys with his girlfriend and asked me where I was. At that time however, I was still in my apartment because I saw no reason in going early.

I went to Fontana first. Mostly because I've had most flow there in the past but I also wanted to check the place out and see if my suspicions have been correct. They have. Fontana is dead.

Well, not really dead since there were still a lot of horny guys there on the dance floor but the difference now is that the horny guys get there at 1 and there are no girls in sight. Okay there were a couple of them but they were hanging at the bar or sitting on the couches in the corners or something. Still, the situation has vastly changed from last winter when the dance floor was packed with women. Really, there is little point in going to Fontana anymore if you are lookin' for some action.

So I went over to Royal night at around 1:30. The place was packed. Excellent. I found my mate Ove and his woman standing around but then I went off looking for chicks and found a Finnish speaking girl with enormous eyes...not the one I've mentioned in the last two posts though. I've been hanging around with her on a couple of occasions. She is very nice and all but I've come to the conclusion that it is very hard to speak Finnish on *that* level; beyond small talk and "what did you do today" things. There needs to be more than just communication...there must be a connection...Damn that was deep...I should be on Dr Phil...hell, I should have my own show. I would repeat that same line over and over again.

So yeah, nothing else really went down.
Still no clarity about the trip...but I do have a feeling that I would like to get the fuck out of town for a little while...explore greener pastures without the hassle of dealing with women I already know :p

Trip news

Well, last weekend we started discussing going to Åland yet again this summer. So I thought it would be a good idea to get the gang together and discuss the thing so we could sort out the details like "who, when and where" etc. I tried to get the crew together on Wednesday night but Ove said he was busy so no go.

Then yesterday I get a Call from MAcko who said they are sanding a boat nearby so we can discuss the trip then. Right-O. I go over, Ove hasn't arrived yet but he should be there soon since they called him two hours ago and he said he would just eat and come afterwards. We sit around for two hours and then finally he and his girlfriend arrives. They must have had plenty of food to eat.

Anyway, we start off by thinking about going on midsummer as usual. Ove isn't really fond of that idea since he thought we have gone there for so many years now etc. Jens throws out the idea that maybe we could go when the rock festival Rockoff is being held. Then we could do something else on midsummer. We could go to someone's cottage and celebrate, have some brews, burn a few hotdogs over the campfire etc. The only thing is; we don't really know anyone with a cottage...except Ove's girl whose family has one they never use apparently.

That seems okay but there are a few complications on my part since it is just AFTER my vacation. Still, I doubt that would be a problem. Jens' woman is a bit of a question mark in the equation but Jens says she can probably be pursuaded. Then there is Ove's woman.

She will not get a vacation until August and from what I gather it would be extremely difficult to get off work until then. She is also "not sure if anyone is going to be there " during midsummer. So we can't go there.

So what did we end up with? Nothing.
Well, Kia said they have a cottage that has not been used for years but that is off in the woods somewhere. That is our likely midsummer.

Åland seems uncertain and if we go before August Ove and his woman will not be joining us.
So...yeah...we'll see how it goes.

Them bastards!!

Last week a guy came into the room at work and asked if I could do some drawings for a project someone was doing. At first I thought it was just about sitting in on a few meetings and then doing the drawings on computer. Turned out it wasn't quite as simple as that.

I went to the meeting on tuesday and I was the only one there from our office.
AND they had started the project in February so I didn't really know what it was about or what they needed me to do. I left the meeting with the impression that they wanted me to do the design for a schoolyard.

Then yesterday afternoon I got the information that there are three different architectural firms involved in the project so basically they were looking for free labour, i.e me. So it looked like my current employer was going to forbid me from doing the project since technically it was not intended to be done by our department.

Now it seems like it isn't that much work anyway. Just a simple plan actually. I'm also going to make a few montages in Photoshop and a couple of 3D models in Archicad on my own initiative. From experience I know that a site plan says absolutely nothing to the general public. There is always a need for pictures.

When I went to the meeting I took the car, and thought the turn signal acted a bit strange but assumed it was a faulty wire or something. Later when I got off from work I noticed that there were two gaping holes where the front blinkers usually are. I examined them a bit closer and noticed that someone had stolen them. The wires were neatly cut off.

In other news
I think I will have to retire my trusty blue striped shirt. I was flexing my right forearm the other day and the fabric ripped. When I got home a button fell out as well..and it wasn't the thread that broke but the fabric around the button. So I might need a new shirt soon.

Surreal weekend

The weekend was surreal.
Earlier during saturday, Finland had lost the semi finals in the hockey world championships so everyone felt a bit down. The Eurovision song contest was supposed to be an afterthought, something you watched for a while before heading out to the bars. Maybe we could score some points and get in the top ten. Hell, we'd allready won since we managed to get into the final.

Then the points started dropping in. A twelve point max...another...and another...when half of the votes were cast Finland was in the lead by 40 points. We just sat and stared in disbelief. Was this happening? I don't think anyone in the entire nation thought they could actually win the thing but as the contest went on and the scores were going in our favour it seemed not only probable but likely. And still no one could believe it.

Then the announcement came; Finland wins the Eurovision. We watched the performance again, still in disbelief, then headed out to celebrate.

When we got out of the building you could hear the celebrations taking place. People were singing the song in the streets, chanting "hard rock hallelujah", everywhere you looked there were people smiling and saying things like "I can't believe it".

As for the remainder of the night, well, it was not as miraculous as the win.
Martin was at home, still mentally recovering from last weekend. Marcus, Kia, Jens and his woman was out but they went home in the wee hours while I pressed on, searching for...well...what I am usually looking for...pie...hair pie...

Anyway, no such luck...Well, to be honest I could probably have scored with two or three but I deemed one too fat, one didnt have boobs and the third..I don't remember what her problem was...oh yeah, too drunk.

The chick with the big eyes was out again so I checked her out. She seems a bit...stuck up...a bit..."queen syndrome"...But the eyes..oh the eyes...The power of the pussy is strong.

So yeah, I went home and got a good night of sleep instead, which is not a completely unsatisfying thing in itself. In fact I kind of needed it since my trapezius muscle on the left side cramped up on friday so I was in pain the night between friday and saturday so I got very little sleep.

Aanyway, in other news, Martin has found an apartment and it seems now as there are going to be more people joining in on the annual Åland trip as Marcus said that we "definately need to go". Jens seemed a bit interested as well but we'll have to see what the government says.

It's friday bitches!

Well, it’s Friday bitches! Which means I am getting geared up for the weekend. Actually, I am never really in a party mood on Fridays. Usually I am physically exhausted from not getting enough sleep and working out the entire week that Friday is more of a welcome release, a time where I can finally rest. However, that is not until after I have been to the gym. Usually around 10 I can relax.

Friday is also the only night a week I get enough sleep (i.e 10-13 hours). Saturday is party night and you don’t really get any quality sleep after a night of clubbing. Especially now when the sun rises a bit after you’ve come home. Then the sun light is reflected by the windows of the building opposite from mine straight into my apartment. On top of that the seagulls outside usually go insane this time of year so there is a lot of noise and shit…literally…they crap all over the place. I was working on the theory that they are so noisy because their stomachs are bad (hence the crap) but then my sister mentioned that it is probably mating season so they go a bit nuts…sort of like people. Then I remember seeing two seagulls getting it on on a rooftop a few days ago and the pieces started falling into place.

Anyway, today I am planning on buying new jeans. I noticed that my old pair had a little hole in the butt so I decided to retire them with full honours. We will miss you. So now I only have one pair of jeans and that is not acceptable.
I have been looking in stores to see exactly what is out there and contemplated what I want. My sister will not be joining me this time because she is busy working and playing seagull with her boyfriend.

In the past I have always relied on my sister to provide valuable input in my clothes purchases but I figure that she won’t be able to do that forever so I better start learning to do it myself. Before I would have been terrified of getting jeans by myself but I feel quite confident this time as I know what I am looking for.

The last time I was looking for jeans I tried around 15 pairs in various stores. At the time I thought it was very troublesome but in retrospect I learned a lot. Jeans with a low waist seem to fit me the best, so that is what I’m getting. The pair I have been looking at are low waist, slightly distressed, “standard blue” jeans with a slight bootcut. Actually I have been looking at two pairs, one is a lighter shade of blue. You don’t want to go too light though or you’ll look like you’re from the 80’s (with those almost white acid washed jeans). A more “mid range blue” also fits better in spring/summer I think than a darker wash but are still totally wearable during winter. A darker wash can also look a bit too “dressed up” sometimes whereas a lighter shade looks a bit more casual.
Besides, I have been trying to incorporate lighter shades in my outfits now that spring is in full swing. Black is so depressing…and the chicks dig colour too I think

Monday ramblings

I forgot to mention something that happened this weekend.
I was standing at the bar, looking around for my big-eyed-beauty, when a chick I sort of know came up to me and said hello. Once upon a time she wanted to do the dirty with me but I wasn’t really interested. She later questioned me as to why etc etc, yadda yadda.

Anyhoo, after a while of talking to her she says something to the effect of ”you’re so full of shit, but you have a little good in you. No one else can see it but I can. But you should tone it (my bullshit side) down a bit, it scares off the women.”

At first I didn’t think anything of it but last night I started thinking it was a pretty rude thing to say.
Suppose I had gone up to her and told her that she’d be pretty hot if she lost the extra flab. ”You have a hottie under that fat, no one else can see her, but I can. You should really lose weight though, lard scares off men.”

Had I done that it would be considered supremely rude and I’d be branded a mysogynist or something. But she thought it was perfectly fine to say something like that. Fuck that!

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I started wondering why it is that me and Martin have so similar taste in women. We both like blondes with a ”cute” face (round features, sort of like a baby face) and big...eyes. If I think a chick is hot it’s pretty certain that Martin will too. Our other friends have different preferences. Only one likes big...eyes. Two of them prefer smaller eyes actually.

I started thinking that it must have something to do with our upbringing or environment we grew up in or something but then I realised that my brother doesn’t seem to share these preferences of ours. However it would make sense. Me and martin grew up in the same environment, we have known each other for over 20 years, went to school together etc. We both have an older sister and are both the second child.

I was working on a theory that we prefer blondes because our older sisters are brunettes. Sort of like we don’t want to be banging our sister-type of deal but then I remembered that martin’s younger sister is blond.

I guess this one will remain a mystery.
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Lately I have noticed that I really don’t mind if a girl has a bit of extra fluff around the edges. I’m too much of a boob man. Chicks that are overly thin never have the boobage I desire. There are three things I’m looking for looks-wise; blond hair, cute face, and big knockers. However, I have noticed that the blond hair takes a back seat to the other two. Cute face and big boobs and I’m sold.

Of course I really like a nice ass too but apparently it is not as high of a priority. I’ve never been a leg man. I can only remember ever seeing one chick where I went ”wow, she’s got really nice legs”.
Hair, well, not really that concerned about that. I prefer long hair because I think it looks more feminine. Again though, it’s not as important as previously mentioned factors.

Weekend report

Well, a few days ago I got an invitation to a party my ex was having. In the invitation was mentioned that guests were allowed to "bring a friend" if they wanted to. So naturally I decided to accept and mention that I was "bringing a friend". The idea was that she would think I was bringing some new chick and have her obsess and wonder over that for a couple of days. I'm so evil.

Of course, I brought Martin and I *think* I detected a hint of relief in her voice when she noticed it was him.

Of course, since there was drinks and food, Martin got busy quite early on and by the time we got to the bar he was wasted beyond return. As we were walking out my ex told him to not shout because of the neighbours. Naturally he started shouting and crashed into the door as we were exiting the building.

When we got to the bar Martin ordered more beer and we sat down on a zebra striped couch. After a while I went to the bathroom and when I got back two other dudes were sitting at the same table, smoking and talking to my mate. It was a bizarre experience.

One of the guys was blond and pretty wasted. His friend had dark hair and seemed to be more sober. The bizarre part was that they were Finnish. It was almost like meeting the Finnish version of ourselves. Martin was happily engaging in conversation with both of them before they went off somewhere. however, I don't know if they understood what he was saying as Martin does not have the best grasp of the second language.

Later on, Martin's sister and her boyfriend showed up, as well as Marcus' little sis' and her boyfriend. It was right about then I noticed a chick with the amazing....eyes. I decided to try to hit on her later during the evening. but for the moment I had to attend to other things. Where was Martin?

I went off looking for him and found my ex and her friends at the bar. They said that I should take care of Martin as he had just had a shot of absinth; not a shot that is very conducive to sobering up.

Anyway, I later found him on the dance floor and he seemed to be quite allright. Later when a couple of other friends showed up and he started hanging out with them I knew he would be okay and not crash in a chair or get in a fight or anything. Now where was the chick with the big ...eyes?

I found her dancing on stage with her friend. I tried to get some eye contact going but I was pretty unsuccessful at it...However, later on I noticed her on the dance floor so I manouvered closer and started dancing with her a bit. Then she started rubbing her ass against me and...umm...stuff. Heck, she even put my hand on her boob and I thought it was going to be a sure thing.

Then like a lightning bolt from a clear sky she says that she and her friend are going to the bathroom and they disappear. I saw her again a few times after that but she wouldn't even make eye contact with me. What the f**k is that about?!

But I chose to look at the bright side; I had singled out a chick and moved in instead of working according to my usual modus operandi of singling out the ones who are looking for something for the night and moving in on those. Her behaviour perplexed me though.

So I came to the conclusion that she was/is an attention whore, fried my eggs and went to bed, after having said good night to the one eyed beast of course.

Now, had my ex seen me with this chick she would have had a field day with it. I studied her for a while before making the decision whether to move in or not. Martin's sister's boyfriend thought she was fat and I admit that she did have some extra junk in the trunk but apparently that does not bother me that much...as long as they have nice eyes that is.

Martin was MIA during most of the night and I am not sure how much he remembers so his adventures will remain a mystery.

The lies we are told

When I was in elementary school we were taught that smoking was bad, really bad. Drinking was even worse. If you drank alcohol it was only a matter of time before you started doing marihuana and after that you are pretty much hooked on crack. When that happens you would get HIV and die.

Then I started upper elementary school (it’s difficult to find the correct terms because school is structured differently here than in the US, anyway grade 7-9). There it was basically the same thing; don’t smoke, you’ll get cancer, don’t drink, you’ll become a crack addict and die. In hindsight it was a ridiculous notion but you know what was even more ridiculous? That I actually believed it.

Then came what the Yanks would call high school and all of a sudden the pipe was playing a different tune. Now it was: ”sure you can drink but be sure you do it in moderation!”, with extreme emphasis on moderation. I actually couldn’t believe what I was hearing. After nine freaking years of being told the same thing over and over it turns out that it was all a lie.

Then sometime around the age of 19 I had my very first drink. In the years to come I had a few more. I didn’t become addicted to crack and I didn’t die. Later on I came to the conclusion that alcohol wasn’t for me but I had amazingly survived (note the extreme sarcasm).

Reverse the tape again, back to upper elementary school. Me and my best friend were basically nobodys. We were very uncool, in fact, we were the uncool that uncool scrapes off itself so it will be more cool. As every other teenage boy I wished for a girlfriend. Actually, a girlfriend seemed so god damned far off and incredible that I just wished for some kind of recognition from the opposite sex. I didn’t get much of that either but I actually believed that it would get a lot better.

You see, all the movies and television shows I watched basically all had the same theme; nice guy meets girl, girl doesn’t like nice guy, nice guy continues being nice and does not give up, girl realises she is madly in love with nice guy, they live happily ever after. Everywhere I turned i was told: just be yourself, it’ll happen when you least expect it, the nice guy will get the girl in the end. So I continued doing what I was doing and continued getting diddly squat.

”Just be yourself” , for me, ranks right up there in the top of the ”all time biggest lies”-list and is the absolute worst piece of advice you can give a guy who wants a girlfriend. I bet some will disagree. I also bet 99% of those are women. in theory it seems like a good idea but in practice it’s a completely different matter. When I was 15 I didn’t go out, I was shy as hell and probably took myself a bit too seriously. My idea of a funsaturday night was to sit at home and play videogames with my friends. I was just ”being myself”. The number of girls I met: nada, zilch, zero.
Then, when I was 18, I was fed up with it and decided to change. The rest, as they say, is history.

And so begins the Jonartin-Era

Me and Martin went out on saturday. We started the evening in a half-empty Brändö apartment. A faint echo could be heard when we spoke because there were no furniture or curtains to catch the sound waves. One of our friends had cleaned house and taken everything that wasn’t nailed down with him to his new apartment. Actually he also took the vacuum cleaner, brooms, rags and other cleaning utilities with him so it will be somewhat difficult to actually clean house later on.

We went to Royal Night as usual. We got there relatively early, at around 11:45. It appears that the bars and clubs are now under ”summer time”, during which the patrons show up late. It didn’t become crowded until after 1 AM.

However, when it was crowded it became very hot. Lots of people bumping around on the dance floor, lots of them drunk guys. It would seem like there are a few that only derive pleasure from walking around on the dance floor, making people get out of their way as the do. I hate those people.

I also saw my ex C there. She met up with two of her friends. She seemed pissed about something, which isn’t very surprising as she is often pissed about *something* . I figured out that it was her birthday. I suspect that she had planned some sort of party but very few actually showed up so she was PO’d about that.

Later during the night I saw her and her friends dancing with some guys. I wanted to mention it since she has said in the past that I don’t hit on attractive enough girls. Well, those dudes weren’t exactly Ashton Kutcher either so she is one to talk.

It was a slow night chick-wise for both me and martin. The two 18-year olds that have been hanging around showed up but I really don’t want to get involved with an 18year old, especially one that can’t dance or make out.

Later on as we were heading home we wondered if we have lost our mojo. We also contemplated a switch for next weekend and head to Fontana instead. My fear is that the place will be dead as the trend seems to head that way this summer. But we can always go to Royal later on if there is no action.
i think the thing we can do mojo-wise is to not care about it. If we start to give a s**t, chicks will pick up on it and we will look all the more desperate so the solution is to really not give a flying f**k. Party on

the rating scale

There are basically three kinds of women; the fuckables, the unfuckables and the datables. The unfuckables-category is self-explanatory, it consists of chicks I would not make mad, sweaty monkey love with, basically fatties and uggos…and old chicks…and transvestites (note though that a transvestite can accidentally be rated as a fuckable in some instances). The other two categories are a bit trickier.

The fuckables are those I would consider making the beast with two backs with. They can be chicks with bad personalities, have some sort of flaw in their apparence (a bit too much flab in some places) or they could be datables that have been demoted to fuckables.

Datables are the highest tier of them all. This is the potential girlfriend-category. They have style, character and are hot enough. They are chicks I would consider going on a date with to get to know them better. However, a datable can be demoted to fuckable if there is something in her personality or behaviour that makes her not girlfriend material.

Within the latter two groups there is an internal ranking scale from one to ten. For example, you can have a 8 fuckable or an 8 datable (which from hereon shall be called 8F and 8D respectively). The 8F is basically a ranking of the physical characteristics while the 8D also includes personality characteristics. If I see a hot chick on town I can rate her as 9F but without talking to her and getting to know her better she cannot move up to the D-category.

Enough about that. If you would like to learn more about this system you can order charts and full length explanations for only 19,90 Euros. Why the lengthy explanation? So you’ll better understand this story.

During my lunch break today I saw a chick who actually smiled at me when I walked past her. Chicks on the street usually don’t do that. Hell, even in night clubs they rarely smile at you, just sort of glance at you a bit longer than normal. So I basically interpreted this as ”I want to sit on your face”.

So what was the problem? Why didn’t i go talk to her. Okay, for one I was in a hurry BUT the main reason was that she was a 4F…borderline 5…which is really low even on the F-scale. She was dressed really nice though and had her hair done. She was all fixed up, which I really appreciate. So maybe that skewed the rating a bit in her favour.

Now if she lost …oh say…10-15 kg’s…She would rate very high. What? Me? Shallow you say? Sue me.

Smack my cousin up and other events of the weekend

Some years ago, a friend of mine moved in to an apartment with his brother and his brother’s friend. About a year later the brother and his friend moved out. Instead, two of my friends moved into the apartment, and so began the Brändö-era; a time of many laughs and parties that turned out good, not so good and some that were pretty crappy. One could say that we grew up (at least a bit) during this era. There were good times and there were bad times.

There was the time that one of us (let’s not mention who) fell asleep under an Esso-sign across the street, the time when one of us had been dumped by his girlfriend and messed up a number of newly planted trees on his way home, new years parties, birthdays and countless evenings of just hanging out. That era is now coming to an end. Two of the current inhabitants are moving in with their girlfriends and the rent is just too high for the remaining one to handle on his own.

But every ending is the beginning of something new and so it is time to usher in a new era. One can only guess what it will be like but I am looking forward to this new era as I think it will be some of the best days of our lives, especially for me and Martin (maybe this is the beginning of the ”Martin-and-Jonas-Era”).

We have for some time now wondered exactly what has happened because it seems that a lot more chicks are showing interest these days. This change seems to have happened almost overnight. I don’t know if it is because we are older, more experienced, funnier, more open or just magically have become more attractive. Or maybe it is because we tend more to have a ”I don’t give a shit-attitude”. It would seem though that it can only get better from here...until we hit 30 and life is over.

Now on to the events of the weekend.
It was a heavy party weekend because of the may 1st celebrations. On friday me and martin went out to Fontana to enjoy an evening of erotic entertainment as a student union was arranging an ”erotic party” type thing. The rest of our crew were busy with their women.

Lots of people out. They had three floors open and the place was pretty packed. Lots of hot girls, especially one with leather pants that danced suggestively (now there is a thought; dancing pants). Then there was the drunk one I danced with who couldn’t really say anything coherent...she was pretty hot.

The strip show itself was the worst I have seen. It was very dark so it was hard to see anything. They took forever to take any piece of clothing off and when they did they were laying on the stage floor so you couldn’t see them, except for a head here and a boob there.

The real negative thing about the night though was the number of drunk men at the event, which I expected there to be but still. The problem with drunk men is that they are very much in the way and can get quite aggressive. Another problem is that the typical Finnish male does not go on the dance floor unless intoxicated and even then a lot of them just stand there, looking around for some chick who might think they are interesting. This problem is especially prevalent at Royal Night.

The eve of may 1st we had plans on going out again. When we were sitting on the...I hesitate to say front porch because it’s not really but you get it anyway...my 17-year old cousin calls us and says he’s at the emergency room because he’s been beaten up by a gang. Supposedly there had been an old argument that escalated yesterday. My cousin had at some point called some guy names because the dude stole his cap in the 7th grade. According to my cousin, the guy has held a grudge ever since.So he had brought along 10-15-20 (the number is still unclear as some sources indicate 20, while others say 10...which probably means it was around 8), surrounded my cousin and smacked him up.

His sister’s boyfriend had been there and tried to intervene but had gotten beaten down as well, which was a bad idea because apparently he knows some pretty bad-ass-people. Later during the evening he had phoned those people and they went to look for the gang to ”straighten things out”.

It is unclear what exactly went down but it supposedly had something to do with a 120 kg, crazy mofo of a Finnish dude and his friend, the breaking of a beer bottle and probably some threathening words. Personally I would have preferred they handled it ”by the book” and contacted the police as I think it would be better to have the law on your side in case anything else happens. Especially considering the summer break coming up and more specifically the crazy shit that goes down the day school is out for the summer. However, I am not sure which way will have a better effect.

I can say this though; even though my cousin was talking tough yesterday he was clearly shaken by it. This morning when I walked to work I saw him across the street, on his way to his brother’s apartment. The obvious conclusion is that he is too scared to go to school.

Back to the party.
We went out at 10:40 because I thought it would be a line. Turns out they open at 11 so we walk around town for a while and head back to the club later. We were the 10th people in or something and had the pleasure of using a fresh bathroom, a rare luxury when clubbing.

We met an old classmate of ours who was turning 26 so naturally we had to find a birthday present. The cheapskates as we are we didn’t buy her a drink but rather tried to find free stuff such as napkins, matches, straws and those sticks you stir drinks with. I used a trick I had picked up from the internet and folded a rose from a napkin. It took a while to find her later but I suspect she was thrilled beyond belief to receive these fine gifts...even though she later came up to me and said she had lost the rose so I had to fold her a new one (was she coming on to me perhaps?).

Then later my sister and her boo showed up, which is as rare as a fresh toilet lately.
A borderline-fatty jumped martin on the dance floor and repeatedly told him: ”fuck me” (her exact words) and then waddled off in a drunken stupor who would be more agreeable. Chicks like that are kind of scary, and fat and/or ugly so naturally Martin didn’t do anything.

At the end of the night the 18year old I met a few weeks ago showed up with her friend (damn, why do they let these youngsters in anyway?). Then they mentioned something about a hotel room or something, I wasn’t really paying much attention but Martin and my sister’s boyfriend says they ”wanted some”.

They probably went back to their hotel room and sat up in their nighties, talking about how men are dense and don’t get anything.