Smack my cousin up and other events of the weekend

Some years ago, a friend of mine moved in to an apartment with his brother and his brother’s friend. About a year later the brother and his friend moved out. Instead, two of my friends moved into the apartment, and so began the Brändö-era; a time of many laughs and parties that turned out good, not so good and some that were pretty crappy. One could say that we grew up (at least a bit) during this era. There were good times and there were bad times.

There was the time that one of us (let’s not mention who) fell asleep under an Esso-sign across the street, the time when one of us had been dumped by his girlfriend and messed up a number of newly planted trees on his way home, new years parties, birthdays and countless evenings of just hanging out. That era is now coming to an end. Two of the current inhabitants are moving in with their girlfriends and the rent is just too high for the remaining one to handle on his own.

But every ending is the beginning of something new and so it is time to usher in a new era. One can only guess what it will be like but I am looking forward to this new era as I think it will be some of the best days of our lives, especially for me and Martin (maybe this is the beginning of the ”Martin-and-Jonas-Era”).

We have for some time now wondered exactly what has happened because it seems that a lot more chicks are showing interest these days. This change seems to have happened almost overnight. I don’t know if it is because we are older, more experienced, funnier, more open or just magically have become more attractive. Or maybe it is because we tend more to have a ”I don’t give a shit-attitude”. It would seem though that it can only get better from here...until we hit 30 and life is over.

Now on to the events of the weekend.
It was a heavy party weekend because of the may 1st celebrations. On friday me and martin went out to Fontana to enjoy an evening of erotic entertainment as a student union was arranging an ”erotic party” type thing. The rest of our crew were busy with their women.

Lots of people out. They had three floors open and the place was pretty packed. Lots of hot girls, especially one with leather pants that danced suggestively (now there is a thought; dancing pants). Then there was the drunk one I danced with who couldn’t really say anything coherent...she was pretty hot.

The strip show itself was the worst I have seen. It was very dark so it was hard to see anything. They took forever to take any piece of clothing off and when they did they were laying on the stage floor so you couldn’t see them, except for a head here and a boob there.

The real negative thing about the night though was the number of drunk men at the event, which I expected there to be but still. The problem with drunk men is that they are very much in the way and can get quite aggressive. Another problem is that the typical Finnish male does not go on the dance floor unless intoxicated and even then a lot of them just stand there, looking around for some chick who might think they are interesting. This problem is especially prevalent at Royal Night.

The eve of may 1st we had plans on going out again. When we were sitting on the...I hesitate to say front porch because it’s not really but you get it anyway...my 17-year old cousin calls us and says he’s at the emergency room because he’s been beaten up by a gang. Supposedly there had been an old argument that escalated yesterday. My cousin had at some point called some guy names because the dude stole his cap in the 7th grade. According to my cousin, the guy has held a grudge ever since.So he had brought along 10-15-20 (the number is still unclear as some sources indicate 20, while others say 10...which probably means it was around 8), surrounded my cousin and smacked him up.

His sister’s boyfriend had been there and tried to intervene but had gotten beaten down as well, which was a bad idea because apparently he knows some pretty bad-ass-people. Later during the evening he had phoned those people and they went to look for the gang to ”straighten things out”.

It is unclear what exactly went down but it supposedly had something to do with a 120 kg, crazy mofo of a Finnish dude and his friend, the breaking of a beer bottle and probably some threathening words. Personally I would have preferred they handled it ”by the book” and contacted the police as I think it would be better to have the law on your side in case anything else happens. Especially considering the summer break coming up and more specifically the crazy shit that goes down the day school is out for the summer. However, I am not sure which way will have a better effect.

I can say this though; even though my cousin was talking tough yesterday he was clearly shaken by it. This morning when I walked to work I saw him across the street, on his way to his brother’s apartment. The obvious conclusion is that he is too scared to go to school.

Back to the party.
We went out at 10:40 because I thought it would be a line. Turns out they open at 11 so we walk around town for a while and head back to the club later. We were the 10th people in or something and had the pleasure of using a fresh bathroom, a rare luxury when clubbing.

We met an old classmate of ours who was turning 26 so naturally we had to find a birthday present. The cheapskates as we are we didn’t buy her a drink but rather tried to find free stuff such as napkins, matches, straws and those sticks you stir drinks with. I used a trick I had picked up from the internet and folded a rose from a napkin. It took a while to find her later but I suspect she was thrilled beyond belief to receive these fine gifts...even though she later came up to me and said she had lost the rose so I had to fold her a new one (was she coming on to me perhaps?).

Then later my sister and her boo showed up, which is as rare as a fresh toilet lately.
A borderline-fatty jumped martin on the dance floor and repeatedly told him: ”fuck me” (her exact words) and then waddled off in a drunken stupor who would be more agreeable. Chicks like that are kind of scary, and fat and/or ugly so naturally Martin didn’t do anything.

At the end of the night the 18year old I met a few weeks ago showed up with her friend (damn, why do they let these youngsters in anyway?). Then they mentioned something about a hotel room or something, I wasn’t really paying much attention but Martin and my sister’s boyfriend says they ”wanted some”.

They probably went back to their hotel room and sat up in their nighties, talking about how men are dense and don’t get anything.