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I think it’s getting to be spring. Okay so we still have snowpiles the size of the ass of a chick one of my friends (who shall remain anonomous) porked once...and later considered porking again whilst drunk. But yesterday I saw a lot of pretty chicks at the gym. I remember it being the same last spring. Apparently chicks start thinking about getting in shape for the summer in early April. I also noticed quite a few lookers on town during my lunch break as well. As I was warming up in the gym I almost got a boner from all the chicks there.

All guys will probably remember being a teenager and sitting on the bus to school or something and getting a boner out of nowhere. I read somewhere that the vibrations of the buss can cause an instant hard on during the teens because you’re pumped full of testosterone and hormones and shit. This kind of thing is said to decrease as you age. It is also said that the sexual prime of a man is at 19 years old. I think I’m going to call bullshit on this.

Sure, it may not be as bad as when I was 16 but I can still get a stiffy if the wind blows in a funny direction. It takes very little to set the wheels in motion. I also remember that my record for choking the chicken is 6 times in one day, which I achieved a lonely day when I was 16. That one day was exceptional for sure but on average I doubt that the frequency has dropped significantly. For example, twice a day is pretty standard. If I didn’t have to go to work I’d probably clock in at 25-30 yanks a week. Yesterday I read that Charlie Sheen is a sex addict so I am starting to think that we are in fact long lost brothers.

Anyway, on the more pressing matters.
I went to the crapper yesterday at work to drop the kids off at the pool. As I sat there I started thinking about growing up and how certain things are different now from when I was younger. When I was a kid I didn’t like going to bathrooms I didn’t know. I am not sure exactly why but it just felt very uncomfortable. I always thought I’d lock myself in or that someone would storm in and make fun of me because of my insignificantly sized poo or something. Or sometimes I thought they (whoever ”they” were) were standing outside listening. Either way I didn’t like it at all. I even preferred holding it in and going to the bathroom when we got home. I don’t really have a fear of unknown bathrooms anymore but I do think it is somewhat embarrassing to take a gigantic dump in a public toilet when I know when someone else is in the room. When someone invents a toilet with a silencer I think the world will be a happier place.

Anyway, so the weekend is upon us soon. I’m planning on going out as usual. I haven’t been out at all this week because a) I have been saving a bit of money and b) springtime isn’t really as popular as autumn when it comes to student parties. Everyone is stressing out about their thesis or other projects so they stay home. Pretty soon the student party season will be over and it will be summer...if spring decides to show up for work at all this year. I can’t wait for it to get warmer so the chicks will start wearing short skirts and high heels and tight little summer tops and... oh I’m getting all worked up here.