My new life philosophy

I have recently realised something disturbing; I will never get as much sex as I want. Just think about it. You try finding a girlfriend who never turns you down. Let me know how that is working out. The sad truth is that women are ...whew..just farted..man, that stinks!...anyway...where was I? Oh yes, women are just not as sexual as men are and certainly not like I am.

I am also not all that successful when it comes to landing one night stands. I calculated once that I could manage 1 in 10 nights out or something like that.

So what does that leave you with? There are a few options
1) Try to find a nymphomaniac chick
2) Hang out at the local sex addicts meetings and try to pick up chicks there...'cause you know they put out
3) Get a girlfriend and have a little something on the side for when she isn't in the mood
4) Accept the situation and jack off several times a day

Number 1 is very hard to do so that one is almost immediately ruled out.
I don't think they have sex addicts meetings in my town (small town) so 2 is out as well.
I'm too much of a pussy for number 3 so I couldn't do that.
That leaves number 4...which I have been doing so far but just haven't accepted reality yet.

Anyway, my new life philosophy is related to jacking off...or "J.O-ing" as my brother puts it... Any important decision you ever have to make in life MUST be done AFTER you jacked off. You can think better after you choked the chicken a bit. You know why world war 2 started? Some guy named Adolf forgot to pet the one eyed snake that day.

Inaugural porn and hotdog party

Me and my brother came up with the concept..actually, my brother thought of the hotdogs and I thought: "why not watch porn as well?". So tomorrow me and my friends are hosting the first ever porn-and-hotdog-party.

Usually we just sit around, have a few cold ones and relax before heading out to the bars. But sometimes it's fun to do something different and you can always find an excuse to watch porn. And while you watch porn you probably need some snacks. That's where the 'dogs' come in. They're easy to make and pretty tasty. Throw some chips and salad into the mix and you got a happy meal ;)

I recently watched a documentary in which they stated that females get an increase in testosterone levels from alcohol. That is why some chicks are "easier" when drunk, because they get hornier. Meanwhile, men do not get this increase in testosterone levels because we walk around with those levels all the freakin' time.

I also watched a documentary about female sexuality in which they concluded that women get aroused from watching porn even though they don't know it. Subconsciously they all get wet from watching erotic images.

So, in conclusion, I hope some chicks magically turn up for the party, get drunk and later all hot and bothered from watching all the porn. And that is where I "cum" in :p

Loads of hot girls

Since my blog entitled "fat strippers" gets viewed so many times I'd thought I'd come up with another title that will probably show up in an msn search.

Me and two of my best friends went out to a club yesterday. My two friends both have girlfriends so I spent most of the night on my own but that is okay since I don't have any prblems doing that.

There were loads of great looking chicks out and quite a few people I knew. Also another friend's sort of ex was there. I say "sort of ex" because they had more of a "friends with benefits" deal going on. And also another friend's ex.

The weird thing was that I talked to this chick who was called... (I probably shouldn't reveal any names so let's call her Joey)...Joey. The strange thing was that my friend's "friend with benefits" also was called Joey. My friend got together with her after he had broken up with his girlfriend of two+ years. I have recently done the same.

"Joey" also works in a resturant, same as the other "Joey". It's freaky beyond belief. What makes it even more freaky is that I have another friend whose girlfriend has the same first name as the chick I met who was only called "Joey".

Oh, and two nights ago I dreamt I was Jesus...but that's another story.

It's a cultural thing

A little background is in order.
The country I live in has two official languages; Finnish and Swedish. Most people speak Finnish while there is a minority of about 6% who speak Swedish. I am one of those 6%. In my home town however, there is about 30% who speak Swedish. I would say for the most part, the Swedish population hang out at the same place and in the same "clicks" while the Finnish population has their "clicks". Sure there are a few exceptions but in my experience that is the way it is.

Now to the point of all this.
I have heard some people claim that Finnish people tend to be a lot more straight forward and uninhibited when it comes to dating and especially when it comes to hitting on women in bars and clubs. It seems all you have to do (if you are a chick) is to make eye contact and the Finnish dude asks you right away if you want to "make the beast with two backs" (I have actually heard a chicks say this).

It is also interesting that no one seems to be able to properly translate the term "making out" into Finnish. Maybe they don't have that in their culture. Maybe they all just say: "hey" and then they go home and do the dirty.

So I started thinking about my own experiences. Men and women are different so I can obviously not say whether the original claim here is correct or not (even though the gay dude who hit on me was Finnish) . Please don't give me any of that feminist bullshit about "men and women are equal". I fart in the general direction of such remarks when it comes to the club scene. When it comes to clubbing there are huge enormous, pre-feminazi-burning-their-bra's differences. But I digress...

So what about my own experiences. All my long term relationships I have had were with Swedish speaking girls. It is probably not a big secret that I 've had a few one night stands in my days and the majority of those have been with Finnish speaking girls. It's actually 67%.

Now, as a guy I have the "privelage" of choosing who I go home with (to a degree of course). By that I do not mean that I can go home with whomever I want but rather that I can see who is out looking for "some action" and I can then pick and choose from those. So it IS possible that I have subconsciously picked Finnish speaking chicks so I wouldn't get a reputation of being a "player" or something among the Swedish speaking chicks that I ultimately end up having long term things with.

But who knows... it might also be that the Finns are easier. A good a reason as any to learn a second language I guess.