My new life philosophy
I have recently realised something disturbing; I will never get as much sex as I want. Just think about it. You try finding a girlfriend who never turns you down. Let me know how that is working out. The sad truth is that women are ...whew..just farted..man, that stinks!...anyway...where was I? Oh yes, women are just not as sexual as men are and certainly not like I am.
I am also not all that successful when it comes to landing one night stands. I calculated once that I could manage 1 in 10 nights out or something like that.
So what does that leave you with? There are a few options
1) Try to find a nymphomaniac chick
2) Hang out at the local sex addicts meetings and try to pick up chicks there...'cause you know they put out
3) Get a girlfriend and have a little something on the side for when she isn't in the mood
4) Accept the situation and jack off several times a day
Number 1 is very hard to do so that one is almost immediately ruled out.
I don't think they have sex addicts meetings in my town (small town) so 2 is out as well.
I'm too much of a pussy for number 3 so I couldn't do that.
That leaves number 4...which I have been doing so far but just haven't accepted reality yet.
Anyway, my new life philosophy is related to jacking off...or "J.O-ing" as my brother puts it... Any important decision you ever have to make in life MUST be done AFTER you jacked off. You can think better after you choked the chicken a bit. You know why world war 2 started? Some guy named Adolf forgot to pet the one eyed snake that day.
I am also not all that successful when it comes to landing one night stands. I calculated once that I could manage 1 in 10 nights out or something like that.
So what does that leave you with? There are a few options
1) Try to find a nymphomaniac chick
2) Hang out at the local sex addicts meetings and try to pick up chicks there...'cause you know they put out
3) Get a girlfriend and have a little something on the side for when she isn't in the mood
4) Accept the situation and jack off several times a day
Number 1 is very hard to do so that one is almost immediately ruled out.
I don't think they have sex addicts meetings in my town (small town) so 2 is out as well.
I'm too much of a pussy for number 3 so I couldn't do that.
That leaves number 4...which I have been doing so far but just haven't accepted reality yet.
Anyway, my new life philosophy is related to jacking off...or "J.O-ing" as my brother puts it... Any important decision you ever have to make in life MUST be done AFTER you jacked off. You can think better after you choked the chicken a bit. You know why world war 2 started? Some guy named Adolf forgot to pet the one eyed snake that day.
posted by Jonas @ 3:51 AM
3 Comments:
At 8:01 AM,
Ainu said…
You wouldn't have to cheat if you'd get a girlfriend. Just do the j.o. when she is not in the mood.
"That's a must in every long term relationship." Said my director in Prometheus camp when I was fourteen.
And I think that you underestimate women. If you don't satisfy a woman sexually (make her to get an orgasm)- she'll get SOOOOO horny she would fuck you 10 times a day.
Well, I'm speaking on my own behalf, but I think that I'm no freak of nature.
I wasn't very happy in that relationship.. But he was the one who dumped me. I was too horny for him - he said.
Another underestimating of women. They might not usually be as horny as men. But you can turn them on every time if you practise whe art of seduction. In your clubs alcohol does the seduction - not you.
At 8:11 AM,
Ainu said…
So your girlfriend has to be a virgin, who doesn't know her rights and much about sex.
Take her virginity with tenderness and make her life with you as comfortable as possible - but don't satisfy her. That is cruel but I tell you that it works.
At 12:41 AM,
Jonas said…
"...Just do the j.o. when she is not in the mood..."
Seriously, no thanks. Once in a while is fine, no problem but if I have to flog it 70% of the time it's not cool.
"...If you don't satisfy a woman sexually (make her to get an orgasm)- she'll get SOOOOO horny she would fuck you 10 times a day. ..."
I am curious as to how many women you have been in relationships with and have tested that theory in practice.
"...So your girlfriend has to be a virgin, who doesn't know her rights and much about sex..."
There is no freakin' way I'll date a virgin. It may sound cruel but at my age I would suspect that she wuld have some serious hang-ups about sex or that she is super religious, either of which doesn't really suit me.
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