Fix your place so the chicks won't throw up

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...well, not really, it was in a club actually.
It was a few years back. I had been out partying the night before so I had no intentions of going out again. But my class had this christmas party so I just had to go. As the evenening turned into night someone thought of the idea to go out clubbing. So I said: yeah why not? and went along with it.

At the club I met this stunning blond chick. To make a long story short she came home with me. Of course since I wasn't really planning on going out and therefore hadn't planned on taking a girl home I hadn't cleaned my apartment either. The place was a real s**thole.

There was mail I hadn't bothered putting aside right as you came in. And now I am not talking about a magazine or one or two letters, I'm talking about a pile of junkmail. I hadn't made the bed, there where magazines lying around everywhere. You know how when you whack it you need something to clean it up with? Well, me, I use toilet paper. The best part was that I hadn't cleaned that up either.

I did score that night so you may argue that these things are not important but after that night I devised a plan not to be put in the same situation ever again. Here are some things you can do before going out.

1. Tidy your apartment. I don't mean you have to scrub the floors or anything like that. You just tidy up a bit. Make stacks of your magazines, put the junk mail in the garbage, hang clothes in the closet (or hide it in the big cardboard box you have). Throw away the paper you use for "cleanup". Make the bed and if you are able-make sure you have clean sheets and fresh pillows (I know I sometimes drool on mine).

2. Make sure there are no disgusting odours in the apartment. That means no rotting food on plates you haven't bothered washing. It also means you need to clean the bathroom.

3. Clean the bathroom. Women find this important for some reason. At the very least make sure there are no chunks of s**t in the toilet floating about or any extra stuck to the inner sides (or outer as well for that matter) of the bowl. It doesn't hurt to give your toilet a good "once over". It probably needs it anyway.

4. Make sure you have condoms in the house. Not just one but at the very least two or three. You may want to do it again in the morning ;)

5. Buy something to eat. When you get home from the club you may want to offer something to eat and/or drink. It's a good idea to have something other than water and moldy bread. In the morning she may want breakfast or something. Why not get some tea, juice, milk, maybe some fruit (grapes or strawberries are excellent), cereal, bread...that sort of stuff.

Happy hunting