Going to iraq

Last night I was thinking about starting the whole dating thing again. In many ways it seems a bit of a daunting task. First you’ve got to find someone who’s attractive enough. I once calculated that to be 13% of women my age group. Then She has to find you good looking as well. Now assuming that the same percentage is valid for women, that means that there is only a 1% chance that we will both find each other attractive enough.

Then, you got to start asking the chick out and all. And after that you are still faced with the burden of figuring out if she is really worth your time to begin with, if you have enough in common to try and build something more around. The odds that the mere 1 percent are actually going to have stuff in common must be astronomically small. When you think about it, it’s strange that ANYONE are together, let alone get married and have kiddies and all that.

But I digress. Back to asking people out.
You know how they say “the worst thing that can happen is that she/he says no”? Well, that’s not true. At least not when you’re a dude. Getting a straight “no” as a man is actually not that bad. However, the reality of things is that you rarely (if ever) do get a “no”. Oh no. You get runarounds, excuses and semi-answers.

Once, I asked this chick out and she said “yeah, sure we can go out sometime”. Which to me, at the time, was great news. But alas, she was busy so she couldn’t go out later when I specified the date/time. Okay, no big deal, I thought. People can get busy. I wait a week and ask again. Still busy…”but we should definitely get together”. After a few weeks of that I got the hint. She could have saved me the trouble and said “no” right away.

But that’s probably not the worst still. I was actually dumb enough to ask a chick out by text message once. That’s probably the most retarded thing you can do. I’ll tell you how it works.
You sit there and try to come up with a witty way of asking her out, or at the very least so you’ll seem the least moronic. You press “send”. Then you put your phone down and say to yourself that you’re gong to go about your business. Forget it. You won’t. You’ll be checking the phone with five minute intervals.

After an hour you start wondering why there is no reply. After two hours you will have worked out a reason as to why; she is obviously doing something important. After three hours you will have worked out a schedule as to exactly when she should have read the message and have time to reply. But low and behold, there is no reply.

It gets late, you get ready to go to bed. Still no reply. You figure that she probably came home late and doesn’t have the energy to reply, her battery is dead, she hasn’t checked her phone OR maybe she didn’t even get the message in the first place.

Now *that* is the worst thing; not getting a reply at all…and if you do it’ll be one of those three week runaround deals. Compared to that, a simple “no” is a cake walk ( I wonder why they call it a cake walk…it’s not like it’s easy walking around holding a cake).

Just thinking about all this makes me sick of it even before I’ve started.
Going to bars and picking up ONS’s seems so much easier by comparison.
And that is something I’m about to volunteer for? Seems almost like signing up to go to Iraq.