It was so obvious
I had a series of strange dreams last night. Actually I think it was this morning because I remember going to the bathroom at 5:30 and thinking I’d get up in half an hour (I slept for another hour and a half before I got up).
I can’t remember a lot except for one ”scene”.
I was at a party or gathering of sorts. It was me and a bunch of chicks. The women seemed immersed in conversation when I noticed I needed to take a piss. But what should I do? The possibility of excusing myself to go to the bathroom was not even there...for some odd reason. It never even crossed my mind. Then it dawned on me; I’ll piss in that handbag over there on the table. It was an ingenious plan that simply could not fail.
I slowly put my hand on the bag that belonged to the only chick I actually knew there; a short brunette I had banged at one time. I carefully slid the handbag down from the table into my lap and managed to open it. For some strange reason I had already whipped out my unit so all I had to do was slip it in and ”release the pressure”.
I had just began pissing when I noticed all the women around the table had stopped talking. Now their eyes were locked on me and they all had a look of amazement and/or disgust on their faces. Then the brunette spoke.
-”Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” she said.
- ”Umm...nothing really”, I said, even though I knew the game was up.
- ” ’Cause it looks like you’re taking a piss in my handbag”. By this time I kind of suspected that she was somewhat pissed (pun intended).
I assured her that I was in fact NOT pissing in her handbag.
- ”No, really, see I’m actually pissing on the floor”, I said, and quickly pulled out my weiner and directed the golden stream down on the floor, almost hitting the womens’ shoes.
Everybody looked under the table to confirm that I was telling the truth. I had successfully fooled everyone.
The brunette, however, still seemed a bit suspicious because she took her bag away from me. When she did I noticed that she had a bunch of stuff in there, some keys and a cell phone and other things. I considered the idea that she would eventually smell the piss in the bag or at the very least notice that the thing was soaking wet but I soon dismissed that thought. There was no way she’d notice.
How could she? It was as obvious as taking a leak in someone’s purse.
I wonder what it means.
I can’t remember a lot except for one ”scene”.
I was at a party or gathering of sorts. It was me and a bunch of chicks. The women seemed immersed in conversation when I noticed I needed to take a piss. But what should I do? The possibility of excusing myself to go to the bathroom was not even there...for some odd reason. It never even crossed my mind. Then it dawned on me; I’ll piss in that handbag over there on the table. It was an ingenious plan that simply could not fail.
I slowly put my hand on the bag that belonged to the only chick I actually knew there; a short brunette I had banged at one time. I carefully slid the handbag down from the table into my lap and managed to open it. For some strange reason I had already whipped out my unit so all I had to do was slip it in and ”release the pressure”.
I had just began pissing when I noticed all the women around the table had stopped talking. Now their eyes were locked on me and they all had a look of amazement and/or disgust on their faces. Then the brunette spoke.
-”Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” she said.
- ”Umm...nothing really”, I said, even though I knew the game was up.
- ” ’Cause it looks like you’re taking a piss in my handbag”. By this time I kind of suspected that she was somewhat pissed (pun intended).
I assured her that I was in fact NOT pissing in her handbag.
- ”No, really, see I’m actually pissing on the floor”, I said, and quickly pulled out my weiner and directed the golden stream down on the floor, almost hitting the womens’ shoes.
Everybody looked under the table to confirm that I was telling the truth. I had successfully fooled everyone.
The brunette, however, still seemed a bit suspicious because she took her bag away from me. When she did I noticed that she had a bunch of stuff in there, some keys and a cell phone and other things. I considered the idea that she would eventually smell the piss in the bag or at the very least notice that the thing was soaking wet but I soon dismissed that thought. There was no way she’d notice.
How could she? It was as obvious as taking a leak in someone’s purse.
I wonder what it means.
posted by Jonas @ 10:40 PM
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