I hate mondays
I hate Mondays. You just can’t win on a Monday can you? If your weekend was excellent, you partied hard, hit on chicks and they seemed to respond well (at least that’s what you thought when they stuck their tongue down your throat), who knows, maybe you even got to make the beast with two backs, then Monday will be depressing because you have five days of work or school or whatever ahead of you. All work and no play make a dull boy you know. Monday will be an anti-climax of galactic proportions.
On the other hand, if you had a crappy weekend, you are bummed out because it’ll be another five or so days until you can rectify the problem…huh huh…I said “rectify”…sounds like “rectum”…huh huh. Since I usually party on Saturday nights it’s six whole days of agonising torment before I can again bask in the glory that is party-hardy-day. Then of course you are struck by the immense fear that the next weekend will suck too, and you are in a mental shit-hole. I am of course talking about a situation where going out and partying is your whole life, which isn’t true in my case. I have loads of other things to do…like…umm…hang on…let me think for a minute…ummm…OH, NOW I’ve GOT IT !… no wait…just a fart escaping…hope no one noticed. Well, anyway…
This weekend was in the latter category. I am not completely sure as to why it sucked. Maybe martin can fill us in on that one. Myself, I just had a feeling that it sucked Donkey Kong’s balls. It wasn’t that there weren’t any women out, ‘cause there were quite a few. Maybe not “walk into a wall-attractive” but still, clearly above average. Maybe it was the fact that we have finally figured out that at the end of the night Fontana’s dance floor is packed with horny guys, which wouldn’t be all that bad unless they were all hitting on the four chicks there (who will later go home with each other and giggle about all the pathetic losers on the killing floor). It seems to me that Fontana is the only club in town where this happens. In other clubs you have quite a few chicks staying to the very end. Maybe they are more desperate or something. Or maybe it’s because Fontana is the “meat market” and by last call everyone who are interested in going home and bumping pelvises are already doing that.
It’s probably the same with all major party holidays, Christmas, New Years, Pampas’ Independence Day, you have all these expectations that all just turn to poo the next morning…sometimes literally. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
I have two alternative solutions.
The first one is to never expect anything, and party only moderately. Every weekend should have the exact same amount of fun and carnal pleasure, sort of like communism. And we all know how THAT turned out (don’t give me that crap about Cuba, no one wants to make it with Castro anyway, why do you think he’s still pissed at the US?).
The second solution, which is my favourite one, is to party so freakin’ hard that you just can’t think straight, puke your brains out, spend all your money, dance ‘til your feel bleed and fall asleep on someone else’s couch or in police custody (extra points for VD’s contracted). You party until you can’t party anymore and go around like a zombie for the entire week. By the time the next weekend rolls around you should be allright again.
On the other hand, if you had a crappy weekend, you are bummed out because it’ll be another five or so days until you can rectify the problem…huh huh…I said “rectify”…sounds like “rectum”…huh huh. Since I usually party on Saturday nights it’s six whole days of agonising torment before I can again bask in the glory that is party-hardy-day. Then of course you are struck by the immense fear that the next weekend will suck too, and you are in a mental shit-hole. I am of course talking about a situation where going out and partying is your whole life, which isn’t true in my case. I have loads of other things to do…like…umm…hang on…let me think for a minute…ummm…OH, NOW I’ve GOT IT !… no wait…just a fart escaping…hope no one noticed. Well, anyway…
This weekend was in the latter category. I am not completely sure as to why it sucked. Maybe martin can fill us in on that one. Myself, I just had a feeling that it sucked Donkey Kong’s balls. It wasn’t that there weren’t any women out, ‘cause there were quite a few. Maybe not “walk into a wall-attractive” but still, clearly above average. Maybe it was the fact that we have finally figured out that at the end of the night Fontana’s dance floor is packed with horny guys, which wouldn’t be all that bad unless they were all hitting on the four chicks there (who will later go home with each other and giggle about all the pathetic losers on the killing floor). It seems to me that Fontana is the only club in town where this happens. In other clubs you have quite a few chicks staying to the very end. Maybe they are more desperate or something. Or maybe it’s because Fontana is the “meat market” and by last call everyone who are interested in going home and bumping pelvises are already doing that.
It’s probably the same with all major party holidays, Christmas, New Years, Pampas’ Independence Day, you have all these expectations that all just turn to poo the next morning…sometimes literally. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
I have two alternative solutions.
The first one is to never expect anything, and party only moderately. Every weekend should have the exact same amount of fun and carnal pleasure, sort of like communism. And we all know how THAT turned out (don’t give me that crap about Cuba, no one wants to make it with Castro anyway, why do you think he’s still pissed at the US?).
The second solution, which is my favourite one, is to party so freakin’ hard that you just can’t think straight, puke your brains out, spend all your money, dance ‘til your feel bleed and fall asleep on someone else’s couch or in police custody (extra points for VD’s contracted). You party until you can’t party anymore and go around like a zombie for the entire week. By the time the next weekend rolls around you should be allright again.
posted by Jonas @ 11:31 PM
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