Wash condoms inside out to preserve freshness
Well, I did it again. I washed my condoms in the washing machine.
Whenever I go out I put two condoms in my right side pocket 'cause you never know if you might get lucky. Why two? Well, it started years ago when I realised that putting on a condom was quite difficult. So I thought to myself that I better bring along two in case I f**k it up the first time (and not in the good way). I now have no problems in putting the thing on but since then have realised that if you bring two you can score once more in the morning as well.
Wait, why the right side pocket? Well, I usually wear jeans and the right side is the one with the really small pocket inside the big one. I don't know what it is called. I call it the rubber pocket.
So anyway, I came home from clubbing, without having scored, and took my pants off. The next day I decide to throw 'em in the washing machine. Later on when I go to take them out I see two silver foil things in the bottom of the washing machine. It was the two condoms I had had in my pocket. F**k it! Now I have to get new ones 'cause I only had one left. Which brings me to my next complaint.
My brand comes in packs of 5 (or 25 but I am not that optimistic). But the "average" one night stand requires at least 2 rubbers (for me anyway). So you have two and a HALF one-nighters in one pack, although technically I suppose it isn't a one night stand if you do it in the morning as well. It would be a lot better if they had 6 in one pack, which would also be appropriate since the number 6 is pronounced "sex" in my native tongue.
Another thought I had recently was about the cost of sex. A pack of condoms is relatively cheap and the price of one is about 70 cents. However!!! I have calculated the average of times I have to go out to find a one nighter....At this point my sister is probably thinking "waaay too much info here"...anyway, the average is at 13% so I have to go out 7,69 times (in reality 8) to "get some". I usually spend about 10-15 bucks on tickets, drinks etc..Probably average around 12.
So that comes to 12x8+0,70x2=97,4 Euros (a bit more than 100 US dollars).
Now I am a bit depressed.
Whenever I go out I put two condoms in my right side pocket 'cause you never know if you might get lucky. Why two? Well, it started years ago when I realised that putting on a condom was quite difficult. So I thought to myself that I better bring along two in case I f**k it up the first time (and not in the good way). I now have no problems in putting the thing on but since then have realised that if you bring two you can score once more in the morning as well.
Wait, why the right side pocket? Well, I usually wear jeans and the right side is the one with the really small pocket inside the big one. I don't know what it is called. I call it the rubber pocket.
So anyway, I came home from clubbing, without having scored, and took my pants off. The next day I decide to throw 'em in the washing machine. Later on when I go to take them out I see two silver foil things in the bottom of the washing machine. It was the two condoms I had had in my pocket. F**k it! Now I have to get new ones 'cause I only had one left. Which brings me to my next complaint.
My brand comes in packs of 5 (or 25 but I am not that optimistic). But the "average" one night stand requires at least 2 rubbers (for me anyway). So you have two and a HALF one-nighters in one pack, although technically I suppose it isn't a one night stand if you do it in the morning as well. It would be a lot better if they had 6 in one pack, which would also be appropriate since the number 6 is pronounced "sex" in my native tongue.
Another thought I had recently was about the cost of sex. A pack of condoms is relatively cheap and the price of one is about 70 cents. However!!! I have calculated the average of times I have to go out to find a one nighter....At this point my sister is probably thinking "waaay too much info here"...anyway, the average is at 13% so I have to go out 7,69 times (in reality 8) to "get some". I usually spend about 10-15 bucks on tickets, drinks etc..Probably average around 12.
So that comes to 12x8+0,70x2=97,4 Euros (a bit more than 100 US dollars).
Now I am a bit depressed.
posted by Jonas @ 12:04 AM
2 Comments:
At 12:15 PM,
Jacke said…
You could always get one of those blow-up dolls. But I guess cleaning afterwards would be a bit weird.
At 7:20 AM,
Ainu said…
Haha.
But seriously. Sex ain't cheap.
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